January 10, 2006
All of a sudden, the things that happened during my lifetime are 'history' for younger generations. I'm much more interested in retaining the images and information from the past. I'm scanning old photos and holding on to bits and pieces of things that have happened to me.

New Year's Resolutions. I don't like 'em, I don't like to make 'em, and I don't like to be reminded when the ones that I have made don't pan out. So, I generally ignore that ritual. However, this year I decided to try to read through the Bible and I'm grateful for a process that is going to help me. A Bible ... already broken down for me into the days of the year with the scripture passages, a friend who is doing it with me, and an online blog that is encouraging and filled with extra information. The One Year Bible is a tool that seems to be really helpful. I'm using the New Living Translation because I thought it would be fun to get a fresh look at scripture. Fran is holding me accountable (and me, her) and the oneyearbibleblog.com is sending me weekly reminder emails and I can log on daily to see what he thinks about the day's readings.

The Praise Choir has started up again and we are ready to make glorious music. That's exciting in and of itself. I love making music and I love getting a chance to share that with others.

It's a New Year - filled with hope and possibilities. I'm always grateful for that hope.

January 19, 2006
I've been working at making my calendar more up-to-date and easy to access. I love calendars! I love to fill in all of the birthdays and I love to look back over the years and see the many things that have happened. Wonderful memories come pouring back into my mind. Sometimes it's hard to believe that time has really passed since those events occurred, but when I read about them - the memories are refreshed and joy is relived. Even things as simple as going to see a movie, or going out to dinner with friends.

I'm terrible at journaling. That should be obvious with my online information. It's completely hit and miss. I have journals started and then they stop after a few weeks. I've said it before - but, I think my biggest stumbling block came from the fear my mother instilled in me that I shouldn't write anything down that I wouldn't want my father to read! Let me tell you - when a young girl has a lot of stuff going on in adolescence, there isn't much she wants her father to know about her.

That memory is still something that is rock solid in my mind. And I really don't have that many things that I wouldn't want my father to read - but, I edit my writing based on who might read it. I'm terrified of making anyone angry, so I am careful to not be controversial. I'm hesitant to ever say anything negative, because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I'm enough of a conspiracy theorist (don't ask - just laugh at me) that I won't make too many political statements because you never know what search terms will bring people to my site. I don't like to write too much about my daily activities - well, there's a whole list of reasons for that. I don't like to get preachy - because I don't feel I'm qualified enough to shell out my interpretations of scripture, etc. Do you see the problem here? At what point do I release all of this and not worry about it. Obviously - I haven't found that place yet - and I'm old enough to know that stifling myself this way is insane.

I've posted a few responses at online blogs over the years - I HATE when people disagree with me or flame me because I disagreed with their statement. I HATE when I'm ignored - as if my profound thoughts aren't important enough to take into consideration.

I have created more blocks to my writing than one girl needs to! And this little post? Is awfully vulnerable... The good news - I doubt that too many people read my website - and so I'm fairly safe with saying a lot of things.

If you want to say nice things to me about things you read on this website - you can always email me at diane@nammynools.com. Otherwise, ignore me, please.

January 23, 2006
What is worship? This is a question that I seem to be asking a lot lately. With my friends, with my praise choir, and in my quiet time with God. I asked the Praise Choir to read Revelation 4 & 5 last week - to spend their time imagining the picture that is taking place in heaven. But, how do we translate this information into our daily lives? What exactly is worship? I don't have a definitive answer, but I know that I need to be spending more time actively participating in it.

Last week I was stopped at the light at 120th & L on my way to church. I looked up at the sky and saw a glorious sunset occurring. All I could do was point at it and say (to God) "Look what you've done! You did this! It's amazing! Thank you!" That's worship. Something as simple as that. It doesn't have to include praise song ditties or long drawn-out spoken prayer or being prostrate on your face. It simply has to be adoration of God.

I asked the Praise Choir to read some verses in Genesis. It is amazing! Everytime Abraham, Isaac or Jacob did anything or went anywhere, they were building another altar to worship God for the things He was doing for them. I don't know that He calls us to continue to build physical altars, but He does want us to build those altars in our lives. To build the place where we offer the things that are pleasing to our Creator. To come before him with a sense of awe and humility, to offer the very best that we have to the One who has given us everything.

February 4 , 2006
Happy Birthday, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This man is an unknown treasure to most Christians. To read more about him and the impact he had on Christianity following his death, check out this website. In other news ...

Thursday night a bunch of us went to see Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and Louie Giglio - the Indescribable Tour. It was fairly awesome. An evening of praise and worship and a great sermon by Giglio. I don't know if his sermon changed my life, but it certainly has kept me thinking. He used amazing images of space and pointed out to us how great God is and how little we are. Something we need to be reminded of regularly!

I've decided that I have a sickness, an addiction to the internet. No, I don't chat with people in chatrooms and no I'm not out doing weird things, unless you consider reading all sorts of information 'doing weird things'. So far this evening I have read information on Reformed Theology, Calvinism vs. Arminianism, searched through Wikipedia for information on denominational differences, re-read some of my mother's writings. I know how amazing she was, but it's nice to be reminded that I have part of her creativity in me.

Tonight, for the first time in 20 years of living in Omaha, I tried a sandwich from Bronco's. It's a locally owned fast food joint that is well-known for it's greasy food. And, you know what? It is greasy. But, I guess that doesn't mean that it isn't any good. Max had the burger, I tried a pork tenderloin - one of my favorite sandwiches of all time. The good news ... I liked the tenderloin.

I read a wonderful article today about CS Lewis and his feelings regarding friendship. It certainly changed my thoughts on this. This excerpt from the article is amazing.

Furthermore, in Lewis's group of friends, the process of opening up reality was richly interactive, a constantly moving play of light. He memorably expresses this in his chapter on friendship in The Four Loves. In the following excerpt, "Ronald" is Tolkien and "Charles" is Charles Williams. Both of them, along with Barfield, were members of the Inklings, a group of literary friends surrounding Lewis in Oxford.

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out," Lewis wrote. "By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's reaction to a specifically Caroline joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him 'to myself' now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald. Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth … each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others."

Ultimately, for Lewis, a group of Christian friends is participating in a feast in which God "has spread the board and it is He who has chosen the guests."

This is the way I want to experience my friends - as small parts of the whole. I know that sometimes I am selfish and want to keep my friends all to myself, but the reality is - when we are together in a group, we bring out the best parts of each other.

I believe that this is why groups feel so lost when one member is gone. My praise choir isn't quite right without everyone there. That person brings something into the mix that is God-given - they bring themselves!

February 11 , 2006
A lazy Saturday - whew! I haven't had one of these in a long time. It's been wonderful so far. I slept late, read a little bit, watched some Winter Olympics and then took a nap. Right now I'm watching my husband sleep on the couch. There is finally snow on the ground outside and it's seasonably cold again. I wouldn't have minded having a winter with no snow to scoop, but that isn't reality in Nebraska and I can accept that. So, I'm wrapped up in a robe with extra blankets and enjoying a day in my house.

We did some worship planning this week for the upcoming Lenten sermon series. It's fun being creative with a group of people. I don't know that there is ever enough time to do that. Tuesday night at Praise Band rehearsal, I was having a terrific time being creative with a group of musicians. A different part of myself was being put to the task that evening, but it is all part of the same joy for me.

This morning I read an article about a prayer service at Asbury Seminary. The revival has begun there. People were in prayer from Monday - Friday. They didn't want to leave the presence of God. Some would leave for a few hours to get some sleep, but came back as soon as possible to encounter more. I simply began to sob as I read this article. The utter excitement of knowing that God is on the move is almost more than my emotions can handle. I pray that this revival will flood through our nation's churches and I pray that this will happen soon!

What has God done in your life lately? He has been so present in my life during the last few months. I have had incredible stresses and through all of them, I have known that He is there. One of the best things I have done is begun to read through the Bible. The "One Year Bible" has broken down the scriptures to daily readings. I read a little of the Old Testament, a little of the New Testament, a portion of the Psalms and another passage from Proverbs. I have discovered treasures throughout my daily readings and found continuity that is amazing. All of this continues to encourage me in my faith.

February 25 , 2006
Today has been a good day - a day of me doing nothing. Which I desperately needed. I have been away from home every single day this week. I would have liked to do more writing, but it didn't haen today. I can't believe that I was such a slug! Max and I played some cards together, but that is about as stressful as it got around here!

I seem to be always looking something up, exploring a new thought, expanding on my old thoughts, and I'm awfully grateful for the internet to do those things. People challenge me in my faith and I find that it is easiest for me to search quickly through the innumerable pages of information that are available on the net. I love to read, but when I am looking for something to inform me right away, the research is condensed to a few short minutes.

A few weeks ago I was searching for questions about Christianity. Something that would give me fodder for more writing. I love to teach and explain. I found what I was looking for. And the most surprising thing was how many questions one man could gather. If you want your faith to be challenged, begin by answering some of these - clearly and concisely. Check them out by clicking on this sentence.

One of these days I'll get the first section posted here on my website - you'll find it in the "Diane on..." section when it happens. I've gotten the first 4 dealt with, but the research, even though I'm using the internet extensively still takes time.

Today Max broke the AC adaptor for the laptop. He'll have to buy a new one. And he mentioned that he did what every other stupid CompUSA customer does by breaking that. I told him that today he learned a $60.00 (replacement cost for the adaptor) lesson in grace. It's so easy for us to be judgmental of the errors and stupid things that people do, but the reality is that each of us is fallible and the only way to bring 'peace' into the world is by beginning with our little worlds.

June 15 , 2006
Just about the time I think it's safe to come out of the water, stuff happens. Max and I had not gone to the theater to see "Good Night and Good Luck", the movie about Edward R. Murrow, Fred Friendly, CBS and their exposure of McCarthy. I know that it wasn't a movie to cry in, but I did.

I am so overwhelmed by the lack of care by our media and government for the people of this country. They are more interested in promoting their selfish agendas and making money that all thought to humanity is tossed out. I heard so many things coming out of McCarthy's mouth regarding Communists that I am hearing coming as justifications today for dealing with terrorists. Whether we are or not, we can easily be subjected to investigation (on the sly of course) and arrest.

It is time to hide or it is time to raise a ruckus. I'm old enough that I simply want to hide. If I could run away to an island in the middle of the Pacific, I'm afraid that would be my first response. 30 years ago, I might have made the effort to rage against the machine, but I know now that would be useless and I find myself tying my hands behind my back. I don't want to be investigated and I don't want my name on some list, so I shut up and hope that it will all go away.

However, maybe one of these days I'll regain my sense of honor and I'll head into the fray.

Saturday, June 17, 2006 ~ My husband
I love my husband and I can't believe how fortunate I am to be married to this wonderful man. As I listen to other women complain and moan about how awful their husbands are (and most of the time, they're not exaggerating), I recognize over and over how very lucky I am!

Max and I met on the Internet. Way back in 1994, before the Internet was what it is today. We were on an intranet - GEnie, part of General Electric. Everything was text-based back then and there were only 33 chat rooms that you could enter and meet other people. I have no idea how many people were logged in during those days - but it certainly was fewer than the 86 million on myspace!

Max lived in North Carolina and was working in a photo lab when we met. I was attracted to him because he was relatively intelligent. As I got to know him, I discovered that he was closer to a genius and he had interests that were all over the place! He has an amazing knowledge of history and it seems to be something that is all-encompassing. He can converse with you about the history of nearly everything! And he is able to put that information together with so many other things so that his information is always complete. He adores pop culture and explores it's impact. His musical knowledge is greater than mine (I have a music education degree) will ever be. There's not much he doesn't know about the Beatles and what he knows about the beginnings of rock and roll will astound you!

He had a darkroom in his apartment in NC and was designing chemical compounds for darkroom chemistry. Many black and white photographers around the country were going to him for his compounds. If you do a google search on Maxim Muir - you will find photographers still talking about him.

So ... we met in January online - began talking together on the phone a few weeks later, then in March I flew to North Carolina to meet him. When I stepped off the plane, he was there to meet me and I knew immediately that it was him. We went out for Chinese and then back to his apartment. We sat on his couch that evening and I felt so comfortable with him, I felt like I was coming home from a long business trip. We talked through most of the night and for you kids reading this - actually had a chaste (read - nothing going on) weekend! Our big date was Saturday - and we went to see "Schindler's List". Hmmm ... taking me to see a tear jerker on a 'first date' - that was craziness. But, he saw immediately how easily I cried and that was going to be something he needed to get used to.

We had another plane ticket purchased for him to visit me in April, but after the March trip didn't want to wait much longer to get married. I reversed that ticket, flew down to North Carolina, we packed his apartment into a U-Haul and headed back to Nebraska. We got back to my duplex on April 19th and were married that Saturday (April 23rd).

It's been an absolutely fabulous time since then. Ok, honestly, there have been a lot of bumps along the way. We had to get to know each other, he had to learn how to live with a very strong-willed woman that was 34 years old and used to making her own decisions. And he was so willing to do that. He wanted to be married to me and he wanted to make me happy! I couldn't believe it! This amazing man and his goal has been to make me as happy as possible.

I am most grateful for the gift I have been given in Max. We recognized while we were still only talking on the telephone that God was bringing us together. I suspect that both of us spend a lot of time telling God how thankful we are that He did this for us.

I'll be sure to write more about this wonderful man!

Sunday, June 18, 2006 - My kids done good

This morning was the final Soul Seekers concert for the year and it was a good morning. It took a little doing to get the kids to quiet down and concentrate for a performance. They were just glad to be together again. Over and over I'm thrilled to watch these kids enjoy spending time with each other ... at church related things! It's just so cool. And they feel completely free to tell people that they are Christians. I can only hope that they are able to maintain that confidence in their identity as followers of Christ as they grow older. I know that cynicism will set in with some of them and they will begin to question the reality of Jesus Christ in their daily lives. They will each face crises of faith and when they come out on the other side of those, they will have to make a decision whether or not to continue in their faith.

What will faith look like for some of these kids? Will they continue to go to church regularly or will they find that to be a huge bore for them. Will they encourage their own kids to be involved in activities at the church building? What will the relevance be for them?

But, this is not a post about the future of the church - it's about the kids that I encounter right now. And they're terrific. They love each other and they love the adults they come in contact with. I was talking to one of the parents this morning who was questioning whether two of them were a couple. "No," I responded, "I don't think so." These kids are affectionate with each other and sometimes we simply don't understand that. They are affectionate with all of the group - and that even wears off on us adults. They hug unabashedly, it doesn't matter who it is - as long as it's someone they know and care for!

How wonderful! I would like to know that more kids than just this group have the opportunity to be loved and hugged on a regular basis! Soul Seekers had gotten home from a long week in Oklahoma on tour last Thursday and had probably hung out together at some point on Friday or Saturday, yet this morning I watched as one young man came running into the sanctuary, saw a friend, ran up to him and leapt into his arms! "I'm so glad to see you!"

Freedom to express love. We need so much more of that. I'm excited to see this in the kids I encounter. I want them to know how much I love them and how much I need to be loved by them. I want them to know how much God loves them. I want them to know love.

Monday, June 19, 2006 ~ Diet Mountain Dew

But of course I'm writing a blog on Mountain Dew! I was looking back at some of my old stuff on my website (http://www.nammynools.com) and found an old post where I had talked about the stuff. And, as I think about it - I've been drinking this stuff for many years.

I told a couple of the guys in Soul Seekers last Sunday morning that it flows in my blood, and since I have been drinking it since about 1980, I'd have to say that it might just be reality! I remember my first taste of Diet Mountain Dew. That was in 1984 or 1985. I loved it! We were in northern Minnesota and there it was! It wasn't being sold in Iowa yet, so I had to try some of the stuff. I loved it! We bought a couple of cases to take home.

My brother, who lived in Denver, had to drive to Omaha in the early 90s to get the stuff (diet Mt. Dew). It wasn't being sold in Colorado by that point. Every trip we made out there, we delivered several cases to them. The addiction was born.

In November of 2003, I decided my body needed to be free of it, so I quit drinking caffeinated drinks completely. I suspect that my body was much happier with me, but my brain was definitely rebelling. That lasted about a year and a half - until I could stand it no longer. And I was back.

My Diet Mountain Dew addiction (DMD for short) means that it doesn't have to be ice cold and it doesn't even have to be fresh! I can leave a 20 oz. bottle on my desk for a couple of days and it will still be fine. All I need is the caffeine buzz. I don't drink coffee and I only drink colas if I have no other option. But, I do drink DMD!

This site (http://www.geocities.com/drinkingthedew/) is VERY simplistic, but has some interesting history on Mountain Dew. This site (http://www.mountaindew.com) has lots of fun stuff on it. You can always find interesting information at wikipedia.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Dew).

So, there it is ... my base addiction. I wish it were something more interesting than a caffeinated soda, but that's all I've got!

June 19 , 2006
"A life is not important, except in the impact it has on other lives." --Jackie Robinson.

What is peace? What is stillness? I obviously have no idea...Too much going on. You would think (ok, I would think) that summertime would bring some relief from stress, but I think that in my case it doesn't at all. I have been watching it for the last several years and it occurs to me that summer has brought more activity and more stress to my world every year! What's up with that?!?!

Most of my regular activities are on hiatus, I don't travel extensively, and we have a bit of a slowdown at work. So, how do I get in over my head? This is the time I would like to devote to being creative, to writing and coming up with things in my mind. But, I find that I'm still never home until 10:00 at night and then I crash pretty soon after that because I'm exhausted from a busy day.

Wow ... I'm quite the whiner. And I'm terrible at applying Psalm 46:10 to my life (be still and know that I am God). Oh, dear Lord! Help me to find the peace that comes from being still with You!

You can check me out on myspace these days - I'm actually doing some more blogging over there. http://www.myspace.com/isoldemalory.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 ~ World Refugee Day
I am the first person to acknowledge that you can't compare suffering between one group of people and another. I don't believe that you can shut a person down who is dealing with something bigger than themselves, because there are people in the world that have it so much worse. Our stuff is our stuff and each of us deals with things in our own way. If we are dealing with a husband that doesn't love us, should we live with it because there are starving children in another part of the world? If our favorite pet dies, should we not expect a little sympathy from friends and family because there is religious persecution in China?

These may seem a little ridiculous, but at the same time, I have heard people who are in the midst of their own personal hell try to diminish it by acknowledging there are people who have it a lot worse than they do. Of course there are! If you are having financial struggles, should you not be allowed to talk about them or stress out over them because there are people living on the streets? No, this isn't reality. The stuff each of us faces on a day to day basis is our own stuff and it's what we have to deal with to get to the end of the day. When we are dealing with personal hurts and pains, suffering and strife, I don't believe we have to look at those in terms of global hurt and pain, suffering and strife.

However, I do believe that at some point we have to reach outside ourselves and begin to deal with some of this global hurt and pain. Who in the world are we to spend all of our time so focused on the miniscule problems in our lives that we ignore the world around us? We spend more time worrying about who will win a Nascar race or a baseball game than we do the orphaned children of war and natural disaster. How many of us have given a second thought to the people whose lives were ravaged by the Tsunami in 2004 or even closer to home, the people who lost everything to Hurricane Katrina? When was the last time it even crossed our minds to wonder about how the families are doing after losing loved ones in the 9/11 tragedy?

No, I don't expect us to focus on tragedies regularly. Sometimes they're too overwhelming for us to face. But, beyond worrying over our own personal space and the impact the world has on it, will we ever remove ourselves from our selfish concerns and begin caring for the global community?

Today is World Refugee Day. I didn't even know that until I read about it on a CNN headline. And I was disappointed in myself. I can hold forth on conspiracies regarding our government in the United States and I can debate religious propositions. I can gossip about the latest celebrity scandal and tell tales of glories long ago. But, I don't know enough about Darfur or what has happened on the Asian coast after the Tsunami. I haven't taken the time to look past my world to see what is happening across the rest of the globe to people who don't live like I do. It is time to set aside my selfishness and explore what I can do.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 ~ My mom
It isn't Mothers Day and it isn't her birthday or anything, but today I've been missing my mother. She died in 1987 when I was only 28. She was only 48. It was breast cancer and a very fast moving thing. But, her death isn't what I want to write about, her life was the most important thing to me.

Mom was a wonderful woman. And if you like me or hate me 90percent of who I am comes from her. She impacted my life for 28 years and even now I hear her voice in my mind when I have to make a decision.

She grew up in Boston, MA. Her father was head of printing at Harvard University and they lived in the carriage house of the treasurer of that University. She went to elementary and high school at two very exclusive schools in the Boston area and was a debutante. I have the invitation that she received to the Tuilleries in France for her Debutante Ball. Her friends received islands for their wedding gifts from their parents. (Yes, Caribbean islands). She had everything that she could need or want.

Then, she met my father. He was going to Boston University at the time - to seminary. His plan was to become a Methodist minister and move back to Iowa to serve in churches around the state. They did just that. She moved from a life of leisure in a large metropolitan area to a small town (200 people) in southwest Iowa. The church owned the home she lived in and the church didn't have indoor plumbing. There was an outhouse in the back yard. When the bishop came to visit, she made the leaders of the church promise to bring him to the parsonage instead of showing him the outhouse. They did what any good Iowan would do, took him straightaway to the outhouse just to watch the look on his face.

Mom was completely rebellious. She gave my father fits. She had quit smoking the day she married him, but every time she flew back to visit her parents, she started up again and then had to quit upon returning to Iowa. That cycle ended when I was old enough to talk and promptly got off the plane and tried to tell Dad what she had been doing just moments before. When the ladies of the church expected her to dress like a lady and attend the functions, she would wander from the church to the house (next door to each other) in shorts and with no shoes on.

Mom's sense of Christianity came from her Unitarian / Episcopalian / not really anything background. She had no idea what a personal faith looked like. In fact, she wasn't sure if she believed in God at all. But, Dad allowed her the freedom to explore that.

She was extremely creative. We have some of her work to remember her. She threw pots on a potters wheel, she painted, she wrote poetry, she wrote short stories, she sculpted.

I have a lot of information about her on my website - http://www.nammynools.com/My Greenwood Family/Margie/margie.htm. It's just a beginning, but so is this story. This woman was simply amazing! And I have more stories than you can imagine about her. This is just the beginning. I'm going to start unraveling my memories into this blog.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 ~ I AM too old
At 9:15 this evening, my friend Jennie called me. She was going to go to a club in Benson to hear a former Soul Seeker (Susan Sanchez) sing - would I like to go?

Now, don't forget, I am old and I am not used to going out on school nights. And, I was already dressed for bed - figuring I might get some extra shuteye tonight. Yawn... ahh ... the plans that go asunder.

Max wanted nothing to do with going back out, so I redressed myself and headed out the door. What a trip! A great little club attached to a pizza joint at 61st & Maple. The clientele? Oh ... they were all pretty much of the ... um ... hippie persuasion! Awesome!!! A couple of other groups played before Susan did (Jennie had told me that she was starting at 9:30 and would only be doing 1/2 hour or so - even this old lady could do that!). But, oh well, I'm always up for a new adventure.

I haven't been in clubs to hear music for quite a few years. Ok ... it's Max's fault. He hasn't been much on doing stuff after it gets dark, so we don't go out to clubs. No, I can't say we're boring, but this part of my life got a little left behind when I got married.

I had a blast! Met up with Jennie and Kevin C., listened to some funky music (Susan and her guitarist were doing folk) and watched the people. I miss being a hippie. The bohemian lifestyle, not worrying about deadlines and commitments. Was I ever really like that? Other than in my mind - quite doubtful.

I read a great article today on the different types of friends that we need. One of the types was the 'younger' friend. Sort of like Paul and Timothy or Titus. Someone that reminds you that age can be in your mind - and you can refuse to accept the growing old part. Jennie reminds me of that a lot. She expects me to be able to do the same things she is doing - and really ... there is no reason I can't! So, I do. It's always fun and tonight, the entertainment was definitely worth the loss of a little extra sleep.

Thursday, June 22, 2006 ~ A Child of the 70s
You know ... it just doesn't get any better. Rock and Roll from the 70s! I can remember thinking at the time that the music was getting boring and surely something exciting would happen with music. Hmmm ... we were in a pretty good place right then! Now I lament the loss of the progressive rock bands with keyboardists that were so talented like Rick Wakeman and Keith Emerson. Their high standards of musicianship mixed well with their onstage antics. Great music and great shows!

I blogged last night about the hippies that I saw in The Pizza Shoppe. And it was awesome. Jennie asked me what was up with the hair. I just giggled. Oh my goodness. I have been looking at some of the pictures from my high school days (graduated 1977). The hair is amazing! How many of you remember being told by your fathers to get your hair cut?

"And the sign said: Long Haired Freaky People Need Not Apply". What a hoot. Just as I was typing the earlier paragraph, my live365 station started playing "Signs". Ok ... it's an omen (or not - depending on your level of paranoia!).

I think about the clothes we wore. There's an ad on local television running right now for Kohl's Department store. The father of two girls comes in to the kitchen wearing an absolutely hideous pair of running shorts from the 70s, quite proud of himself for fitting into them. And as he bends over to look in the refrigerator, they cut to the daughters dying of embarrassment. No one should have to see that! But, I'm certain that we considered those very sexy ... on 16-18 year old bodies. No 45 year old man should be allowed to wear shorts that look like that anymore!

Today, styles are trying to mimic the clothing we wore then - and sometimes simply make a mockery of it. The peasant blouses, the rayon print shirts for guys (they were hideous then - and the mockup of them now is gross!), the hip hugger jeans, the empire waist in shirts and dresses (every one of my prom dresses had an empire waist), oh yes ... and if it wasn't the hip hugger jeans - it was the high-waisted jeans! And those jeans were BLUE! I remember getting a new pair of jeans and wearing it to a dance. My friend, Kim and I danced all night and when I got home, the dye had transferred itself from the jeans to my body. Obviously the room hadn't been well air conditioned. I had sweat dripping from everywhere and managed to change the color of my skin for a few days.

I found a site online that talked about clothing from the 70s. And they mentioned capes. Yup!! At the beginning of the decade those were very popular. As coats, as decor. Mom made me a fabulous cape. It was dark purple velour with a dalmation print on the flip side. I wonder where that thing went.

These were the days of the mood ring, the lava lamp, and the pet rock. These completely innocuous products were in direct conflict with the things that were happening in the world. The Kent State 'massacre', the war protests, the murders at the Munich Olympics, Watergate and the impeachment of Nixon, the gas crisis and the death of Jim Jones' followers (900 people!) at Jonestown. I remember watching Patty Hearst's escapades with the SLA and waiting for her to be released, but watching instead her assisting in an armed robbery.

As I worry over the things that are happening in the world today and compare it to what happened in past decades, we are pretty much in the same state we always have been! The world is a mess, the music tries to reflect the world and our interaction with it or it tries to lift us out of the stress we face, the fashions cycle in and out of good and bad and time continues to pass.

My final thought: 1977 brought us the beginning of Star Wars (the movie) ... maybe that's why I miss the decade so much!

Saturday, June 24, 2006 ~ Glorious!
Max and I had a fabulous evening. We went to his place of business, CompUSA, where they were doing an M-Audio presentation and one of my favorite keyboardists was helping with the demonstration - Mitch Towne. Oh my goodness, the boy can play! And I love him. It was fun to see him play outside of our regular venue - the church. He's just one of the most amazing talents I know of.

Then to Brazen Head for dinner and afterwards came the glorious part. While we were driving home - right at 8:00, there was a full-arc rainbow. Oh my goodness! The sun was bright behind us, dark skies before us and this amazing rainbow filled my vision. I could see it from end to end and when I peeked up at it - I could see the top of the rainbow. On either side, a second rainbow was also trying to form! The rain had just ceased as we were leaving the restaurant, so the entire drive home I was blown away by the glory of the skies. I was reminded of God's words to Noah that the rainbow would be set in the skies as a reminder of His covenant. Yes, I do know that it is all refraction of light and that there is a full scientific explanation of how it works, but that it exists is a reminder of God's creative power in our universe. I can make small rainbows using crystals in sunlight, but to make one that fills the sky requires everything to be put into place and for me - that means God takes care of it.

Monday, June 26, 2006 ~ Make Way For Ducklings
I was reading articles at cnn.com and in the travel section was an article on the swan boats at Boston Public Gardens. I lived in Iowa, but grew up loving that lake. It was a chance for me to bond with a grandmother that was no grandmother. She was Grammy and could only love one person at a time. I was thankful it was me, but it was stressful to see her 'unlove' everyone that I loved so deeply, my mother (her daughter) and my sister and brother.

Whenever I spent time with Grammy, she would take me to the Gardens and we would ride in the swan boat. She bought me the book "Make Way for Ducklings" and I read it over and over again and again.

Grammy filled out my world with travels throughout the Boston area. I believed that was the most important city in the United States. From Lexington, where the shot heard 'round the world was set off, to Plymouth and the wax figures that were full size sculptures of the pilgrims. I saw the Mayflower with her and spent time at Walden pond trying to understand the words of Thoreau. We traveled to see the home of Louisa May Alcott and her father's school. We traveled to Nathaniel Hawthorne's home in Concord and ended up learning about Ralph Waldo Emerson and Charles Ives.

She took me shopping in downtown Boston and introduced me to friends that owned a Model T and a Model A. He would drive me through Harvard Square in the Model A, knowing all along that Grammy would have a fit that I was traveling in such a 'dangerous' area in an open air vehicle at my age!

I learned about prejudice from Grammy. I don't think I had ever experienced anything like that until I spent a week with her telling me all of the things she hated about the Irish people that lived across the hall from her in her apartment building. I don't think she was prepared to have to explain to a 10 year old girl what hating a group of people meant. Before she knew it, she was back pedaling and beginning to explain reasons why she might like them.

I learned a lot while spending time with Grammy. She loved the city she lived in and loved entertaining a young girl who was fascinated by the books, the characters and the authors that wrote them - all of whom came from the Boston area. She loved taking me shopping in the finest stores, if only to buy another book. She loved showing off her city to an adoring fan. I miss that part of my grandmother, and I miss her city!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 ~ Blinking Lights
I am staring at my cable modem and the light that tells me I am online is simply blinking. It will not turn a solid green no matter how hard I stare at it. This means Im offline and have no access via internet to the outside world. I think I might die! (that is a bit extreme and I am exaggerating).

Last night I was just thinking about the decadence of online living:

I'm able to download and watch my favorite episodes from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine for only $1.99 each. Thank you Google Video. Last week, I downloaded the Beta 4 version of Google Earth and my default search engine is Google. I have a gmail account, but rarely use it. I suppose I should make sure that it is still hanging around out there. With the purchase of the Deep Space Nine episode, I have now entrusted Google with my credit card number.

I do much of my interaction with friends, family and business associates via email and can easily chat with my nephews and nieces through instant messaging. I write my stories and thoughts on the computer, transferring them from computer to computer with a flash drive. I was able to sign up for my photo sitting for our church directory online and am able to do much of my financial work online.

I have a website that I update regularly with photos of my family and friends. I've been able to put many of my thoughts and feelings on there and will continue to update the site.

All of this comes with a price - no more anonymity. That's gone. Google has a lot of information about me, Amazon has even more! They know what kind of books, movies and music that I consume. For me to regain a semblance of privacy would require that I cut myself off from broadband access to the internet.

There are days when this sounds irresistible. To be given a chance to hide from the world. To not have anyone out there aware of what I am doing throughout the day. Some days I would like to be on a desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with my husband and my books.

But, then reality hits me! I love the ease of communication and the ease of discovering information, old and new. I love the instant gratification of purchasing a television show that is 12 years old and being able to watch it immediately. I love doing things online so that I don't have to wait through phone calls to talk to customer service people.

I guess that I have made the decision to leave my information out there for the world to see, trusting that they will treat me with respect. Maybe one day I'll find a way to cut myself off from the internet and locate that desert island. Until then I guess I'll be watching that blinking light waiting for it to allow me back into the world and at least upload this missive!

(and if you're reading this - you realize that I'm back online. It took 4 hours, but the light turned solid green and I logged right on!)

Friday, June 30, 2006 ~ Evangelical Libertarian
I know we're out there. We have to be! I'm not alone in this world and I am confident that I have married a man who believes the same way I do. Where are the rest of you?!?!

I am an Evangelical Christian. I believe strongly in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I attend church regularly, but beyond that I read my Bible, teach, write and attend Bible Studies, pray regularly, try to care for the poor and live a life according to the teachings of Jesus. I believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I believe in hell and I believe that Jesus died on the cross as atonement for our sins. This is who I am (and anyone who flames me about these beliefs will be deleted its not up for discussion).

However, I'm not a Republican by any stretch of the imagination. Most people, when they hear the term "Evangelical Christian" will think of people like James Dobson or Jerry Falwell. And that incenses me. I believe in many of the good things that both of them have to say, but when they get political and expect every Christian in the nation to toe the line and follow their belief structure, the hackles on the back of my neck fly to attention and I get mad.

I live in Omaha, Nebraska a veritable hotbed of conservative politicos. It didn't used to be that way. Omaha was fairly liberal politically when I got here in 1984. Our mayor was a Democrat and the entire city political machine was run by his family. The governor was Bob Kerrey, followed by a Republican, Kay Orr, who was immediately followed by Ben Nelson. Our senators were split well down the middle with pretty good people on both sides of the table. Everyone knew that Omaha and Lincoln were very different from the rest of this extremely conservative state. We had the educators and the lawyers, the students and the thinkers here. But, that has changed.

I didn't dare promote the fact that I was voting against Bush during the last presidential election because of the strong beliefs that my friends and acquaintances from my church had. I am a leader in that church and do not feel that it is my job to challenge someone on their political beliefs. However, I have discovered that they don't have the same respect for me. Knowing how I felt about things, I was constantly told of the stupidity of anyone who might vote for John Kerry. Now, I dont particularly think he was a terrific candidate for president, but I was willing to choose between the rock and the hard place and didnt need to be harassed about it.

I grew up in Iowa, a much more liberal state though they went red this last election. That hurt my soul. We had a Republican governor for years that was one of the most respected people in the state (Robert D. Ray, 1969-1983), but he stood up for the differences in the beliefs of the people in his state and allowed those differences to be used for better government.

I tend towards the liberal side in my political beliefs. I am a registered Democrat, but only because Libertarians have not truly created a party that is in accordance with the truths of that philosophy. Im not ready to belong to a party that actively promotes anarchy, and until they find leadership that will honestly face what we are dealing with in the political world, I cant support them.

I am a Libertarian. Every time another law is passed that infringes on my personal right of decision making, whether it's a decision about wearing a seatbelt or burning a flag, I get furious. My poor husband has to listen to me rant and rave for hours. Last night I told him that I was tired of the bozos spending so much time in Washington that they have to create stupid laws to justify their existence there. Once upon a time, they spent more time in their home states, listening to their constituents and caring about the needs of the people of their state. Now, theyre listening to the media and each other and completely forget the people at home until the few months prior to an election

I had all of these beliefs going strong before I met my husband, but didn't really know what it was that had me all upset. He had spent a lot of time in his youth volunteering for the Libertarian party (even with the anarchists in leadership) and was able to define for me what I was dealing with.

Now how do I get from being liberal (ok, really moderate) politically to conservative in my Christian beliefs? Well, I'm fortunate to have had parents that actually thought about things and then discussed them rationally. Neither of them ever took a straight party line on any political issue, but developed their own belief structures. When it was craziness to vote for H. Humphrey or G. McGovern, they would sit at home watching the returns come in and laugh at the realization they were never going to be voting for the majority.

I will NOT allow a government to tell me how to believe or how to react to their intrusion into my life. I will ALWAYS allow the Bible to tell me how to believe and how to react to everything in my life. I may not follow it because of my own rebellion, but I do know that it is right for me. So, I'm an Evangelical Libertarian, something that is a little bit different in this world. It works for me.

Monday, July 03, 2006 ~ Quiet Weekend
I can't believe that I had nothing to say this weekend. At least, I had nothing to say that I felt was worth putting online. My poor husband knows full well that I always have plenty to say. I think that my slogan should be "I always have an opinion, and I am glad to tell you what it is."

But, I guess I wasn't thinking too hard this weekend in terms of things that were important enough to write about. I read some books, listened to some music, played some video games, talked to friends, went to church, took some naps, watched some movies - just had a good weekend!

Max and I had several interesting discussions. We always do. I love that I am married to a man that thinks. We talked about stupid computer stuff - he reads all sorts of forums on what is happening in the tech world. He's very excited because Apple may begin producing higher quality downloads for ITunes. He is such an audiophile that the low download quality makes him crazy and he refuses to purchase music from them.

Yesterday afternoon (Sunday afternoon) we had a discussion on why you never hear the "Star Spangled Banner" in worship services which led me into research on patriotism versus the church. That was quite interesting for me. No new information, just affirmation of my beliefs and understanding.

Why don't we do more nationalistic, patriotic things during worship services? I'll be writing about that next. I'm sure that you can already imagine what I'm going to say, so it won't be anything terribly new ... but, at least I will get my thoughts written down and into cohesive form.

Oh ... and I'm a little ashamed to say that I have succumbed to a national pastime. I have become entranced with Nascar Racing? Not three months ago, I was stating out loud that I would NEVER watch something like that. For heaven's sake, how hard is it to drive around in a circle! And the music? Puhleeze! I don't need that much country music ... ever!

But, Friday night I was with friends that love racing - and watched the Busch race. Saturday night was the Pepsi 400 in the Nextel Cup - and though I was home, watched it. What has the world come to? This might be what kicks it off center. Diane has lost her mind.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 ~ Life in Diane's mind
One of the reasons for creating this website was to give me a chance to share myself with the world. Well, too much time passes and no one hits my site much, so I gave up on changing the world through those words. But, what am I thinking? Do I write words for others to read or am I creating them because they have to be exposed and leave the confines of my mind? For this purpose, I choose the second. My words are important to only one person, me. And I guess that I can find enough of them to put down on paper (or on a sliver of silicon as the case may be).

I spent an entire Memorial Day weekend last year purging stuff out of my life. It was quite embarrassing to realize that I had that much junk in my life! But, there it was and now it's gone. This all came about because I realized how much of my former life had been betrayed by me! I had left it behind. The excitement, the fun, the learning, the creativity. Everything had been tamped down to a flat, boring, one dimensional person. I had quit listening to music on a regular basis, I wasn't reading novels any more, I was only associating with the comfortable, the status quo, the white bread of society.

I'm the girl who met my friends online, in a day and age when being online meant traversing through cyberspace on a 2400 baud modem (Id jumped to 1200 baud early on, but as soon as I could go faster I did). I was on GEnie (General Electrics network) in 1987, meeting people all over the country. I discovered that there were people who understood my interest in the bizarre and odd. In fact, they encouraged it. I would stay up late at night talking to these people. I remember the excitement of being able to email people on other network services (Compuserve and others) from within the GEnie network. That was really something. It was all text driven. The emoticons popped up as ways to inject a bit of your personality into the words you were typing. But, we were having a blast. People would get to know each other and then have parties in different parts of the country, inviting everyone that could get there to come meet in person! And the people I was meeting were highly intelligent. They stirred my mind into wonderful paroxysms of thought. I left the dull, flat life I was living behind for just a few hours.

However, as much I love thinking on those higher levels, and being exposed to strange and odd minutiae, I found that some of the left wing extremism I was encountering was more than I could tolerate. I was trying to find a way to blend my joy at being exposed to everything that was out there, and my faith in the one God through Jesus Christ. That's been really difficult. I can't justify right-wing conservatism any more than I can accept left wing extremism.

Much of this was happening at the height of right wing conservatives wielding Christianity like a terrible weapon. All of a sudden, moderate Christians weren't allowed to be Christians. We couldn't accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior if we didn't vote along the party line. If we did, we were called hypocrites. It was an awful feeling. To have the church that I had loved all of my life, not accept me because I wasnt ready to vote against abortion blindly, or believe that capital punishment was the only way to punish murderers. That laws needed to be enacted to deal with individuals who screwed up within the system. Unless I accepted all of the truths mouthed by the extreme right-wing Christians, I was thought to be less of a Christian. It didn't matter that I had given my life to Jesus, because I didn't accept their single-minded approach to Him, I was something to be abhorred.

Fortunately, I had met a man online who was wonderful and as strange as I. And it didn't take long for us to connect. Max came into my life at a time when I had given up on being married at all. I was going to be content being single and living with my dog. Plans were being set in motion for me to move out of the house in which I was living with my sister. I had enough friends around the country that I was looking forward to spending time with them over the years and that would care for my intellectual growth. My dog and my family would care for my familial connections and I would find a church to help my spiritual growth.

Then, all of a sudden, out of the blue, when I was least expecting to begin a new relationship, there was someone very interesting on GEnie. He was interested in the strange and bizarre. He was highly intelligent and he had a deep faith! This was a man I needed to meet. And we did. We met online January 9th, 1994 and on April 23rd we were married. A new life was starting for me.

Which brings me back to the purging of the old from my life. As I was freaking out during the spring of 2004 over the state of my life at the age of 45, I realized that I had to actively pursue the interesting parts of my life. I have created fabulous friendships and family relationships over the last ten years, but I have gotten lazy and allowed my mind to be caught up in the easy and nearly comatose. I spent a few weeks blaming Max for that. For heavens sake, it began while we were married, of course it had to be his fault. And I suspect that in many ways, it is. He accepts me for whoever I want to be and sometimes I need to be challenged to be more than that. Its a truly loving response on his part, but it has allowed me to stagnate.

Then, I began to put a plan together. First would be the elimination of junk from the external part of my world. I enlisted my sister and brother. They were more than willing to help me. Max took off to see his brother over Memorial Day and plans were brought to fruition. Carol and I tore the house apart on Saturday, and Jim and his family helped put it all back together on Monday. By the time we were finished, I had a home that I could function in again. And the sense of relief was nearly palpable. I was no longer being bound to my home by the stuff that I had accumulated. I was bound by the fact that it was a haven, a place for me to be safe from the world. And it was a place I could enjoy my friends and my animals and my husband.

Without having to deal with all of the impediments in my way, I was free to begin to think again. I began exploring the odd and bizarre on the web, and in books and novels. I found my music and re-discovered the pure joy of deep harmonies and interesting melodies. I was on my way back to normalcy.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 ~ Give 'em what they want
My husband, Max, gets passionate over a few things, and his Beatles collection is one of them! When he told me he was formulating an article regarding some of our discussions, I told him I would be glad to post it! So, this is his. He can post in here any time he wants!!! --Diane

Give Em What They Want

My wife Diane and I share individual pop culture obsessions. She is a dedicated Star Wars fanatic, I collect the music of The Beatles. We have been involved with our obsessions for approximately the same amount of time. Of course, literally millions of other people share these same obsessions with us. One could argue that The Beatles and Star Wars were the greatest pop culture phenomena of the last part of the 20th Century.

The Beatles and the Star Wars motion picture franchises have something in common that goes beyond mere numbers of dedicated fans; the owners of each concern does not wish to give these huge fan bases access to what they truly want from them; that is, clean modern digital copies of the original form of each enterprise.

I cannot speak with clarity about the situation with Lucas Arts Inc, I leave that to Diane's expertise. I can speak with conviction about the unacceptably marketed condition of The Beatles EMI/Parlophone/Apple records catalogue.

When The Beatles were active as recording artists from 1963-1970, it was a custom at the time to release their records in both monaural (mono) and stereo editions, as stereo was a relatively new playback format. When the albums were mixed for record production, the engineers made a separate mono and stereo mix of each song (exceptions being a few early singles and the last three albums). When you compare the mono and stereo mixes of many songs, there are differences that can be heard; an added or missing instrument, reverb present or not present on a vocal, double tracing present or not present on a vocal and many other variations that may seem trivial to a casual listener. Trivial or not, dedicated fans would like to have all of these variations in their collection. (For an excellent in depth discussion of these variations, see http://www.columbia.edu/~brennan/beatles/).

Modern compact disc recordings can play approximately 80 minutes of music. This is ample space for EMI/Parlophone/Apple to reissue the entire catalogue placing the mono and stereo mixes of each album on one CD per release. The entire catalogue is supposedly being remastered for preparation to sell the music on the Apple itunes Music Store. Will the mono and stereo editions be available from itunes? I have serious doubts they will. EMI/Parlophone/Apple records stance is that they must have a sellable product that appeals to the average consumer, not to a handful of collectors (which in my opinion is a sizeable handful).

It all comes down to a battle between the interests of the intellectual property owners and the fans that purchase their products (in the case of The Beatles and the Star Wars franchise, those have been multiple purchases for the same material).

The philosophical question that needs to be addressed; is there an unspoken condition when commercially released intellectual property is also the property of the people that buy it? When something is massively influential and a core constituent of our shared pop culture as in the case of The Beatles or the Star Wars franchise, shouldnt the wishes of the very people that made these what they are have some say in how they are presented? The question is not a matter of economics; these fans will pay for anything the rightful owners release. There are record and DVD pirates/bootleggers who do present the material the way the fans want it to be presented, but they dont have access to the original source material. We dont want to break the law, or make the pirates rich, we just want EMI and Lucas Arts Inc. to give us what we want!

Monday, July 10, 2006 ~ Pray and Let God Worry
Pray. And let God worry.

Martin Luther wrote these words in a letter to his wife, Katherine in the 1500s.

Jesus spoke a lot about worry! Mt. 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Just yesterday, I was getting all pious with a friend of mine about worry. How it is an arrogant thing to do. When we worry, we make it about us! Even when we are worrying about other people, in reality, it's about us. Even when I'm worrying about other people, at the very core, it's about me.

Then, this morning came. Max told me that the corneal dystrophy he has has shown up in his left eye. Last fall it was a major problem in his right eye and now it is increasing by causing him to have double vision in his left eye. Fortunately, his right eye has compensated and he can see fairly normally. So, I started worrying about that. He will have ankle replacement surgery this fall. While I was at it - I decided to worry about all of that!

I spend a lot of time worrying about stuff at Insty-Prints. It's what I do. I worry about my praise choir and how I can make it grow. I worry about my cat, Howard. He has diabetes and we're just at the beginning stages of getting it under control. I worry about my sister and some of the struggles she has going on. I worry about my father and his Parkinson's disease as well as the fact that he has rebroken his shoulder and can no longer do all that he wants to do. I worry about a niece and her learning / functioning abilities as she grows older. There is more to my worry list, but I don't need to create this list our loud for me to constantly think about.

I never knew that I was such a worrier! In fact, I hate that I am. I thought I was a better Christian than that. Am I praying about these things? Oh, sometimes but, it's much easier for me to worry over them. Yesterday I caught myself worrying about whether or not a group of people that were new to the church would be accepting of what was happening there. I realized that as soon as the thought went through my head. Why would I worry? What could I possibly do about it? This needed to be placed in God's hands and removed from my terribly ineffective hands.

By the time I got to work today, I was feeling an overwhelming sense of pressure. Like a heavy cloud was hanging over me (do you see that it has all become about me by now?). It was raining outside and grayness seemed to cloud everything that I did. I could barely function to work. I just sat at my desk and stared off into virtual space (I surfed the internet - a passive attack on my depression).

Then, the quotation from Martin Luther came in to my email inbox (I get spiritual quotations every day). And I read it. And I printed it out. And I showed it to my sister, who had just gotten the litany of all that I worry about. She asked if I thought that God might be smacking me in the arm a little bit. Oh yes!!! "Pray, and let God worry."

So, I prayed. My sister was praying for me. And honestly, within a few minutes, the cloud lifted. None of the problems were solved, but hope had returned to my heart. I'm still concerned about things, but I don't have to do this alone. I have the one Power in my life that can create earth and can breathe life into us. He has flung the stars into the heavens and given us a universe that is beyond our comprehension. And He is my caregiver. It's ok with Him that it's all about me when we are together. If I'm paying enough attention to His words, it then becomes all about Him. I am made less and He is made more.

Today I've been reminded of an old lesson that I've been learning for my entire life.

Pray. And let God worry.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 ~ Where has the news gone?

I read a post on boingboing.net yesterday that was lamenting the fact that political bloggers were not talking about the blasts in Mumbai, India anymore. So, I started watching. And, they're right. Not only have the bloggers moved on, but so has the traditional news. CNN.com no longer carries any articles regarding the blasts in their list of top news stories. They're perfectly willing to carry stories about a horse (Barbaro), an idol (Daughtry) and Michael Jackson, though. (I'm talking about US news groups - not international groups such as BBC - where there are line items about most news stories, including Mumbai and N. Korea)

Yes, the news in the world is rapidly moving. We have the Israelis and Palestinians in the beginnings of a full-scale war, there is a power transfer in Iraq, more fighting in Afghanistan. But, what has happened to us? Have we become so inured to extreme news that we don't need any more information after less than a week has passed?

Where are the news stories regarding the North Korean missile launches? Are there no investigative reporters trying to uncover how the world is responding to this and what they are doing to stop this? What ABOUT Mumbai? Are we simply going to let a few politicos tell us that the Pakistanis are or maybe are not involved in the blasts? Where are the human interest stories from either of these locations? And why hasn't anyone out there described the change from the name Bombay to Mumbai? (ok, I could go to wikipedia).

We are a country that cares very little for the rest of the world, unless we can see an immediate impact on us. We are a country that allows our government to encourage the news that will give them 'press-time' and discourage news that paints them in a bad way. We are a country filled with 'news-stupids'. We allow a few major sites to dictate to us how we will receive our news and we never question why they refuse to fill out the news with information other than quick soundbites.

As bloggers, what is our responsibility to this? In October of 2004, bloggers were the ones who pushed Dan Rather on the story he broke at CBS regarding Bush. The power is in our hands to call attention to things when traditional journalists refuse to do so. We need to at least be fully aware of what is happening in the entire world, not just our back yard. And when we see injustice or recognize stupidity or lack of attention to a subject that should be covered fully, we are the ones who can do that.

The information of the universe is in our hands. We have access to more information today than ever before. I hope we don't become soft and insensitive to the fact that this information generally represents real people and real issues and things that are as important to those people as the 9/11 tragedy and Hurricane Katrina are to us. We expected the world to sympathize with us and support us - can we do no less as a privileged people living in a country that is a world power?

Friday, July 14, 2006 - Clowns

Robber Clowns from Outer Space
Category: News and Politics

There are clowns ... and they are robbing people.

Sometimes things just strike me, and this article did. Max and I love strange and odd films - and Killer Klowns from Outer Space is one that he introduced me to. It's awful! But, it's fabulous. Rent it if you ever need something to do.

Police seek clown-face robbers after rampage
Fri Jul 14, 2006 8:07am ET

SEATTLE (Reuters) - Police are on the lookout for members of a machete-wielding gang in angry clown make-up after a rampage of robbery and violence that left nearly two dozen people injured in a park in western Washington state.

The group, who said they were "juggalos," devotees of the Detroit-based rap-metal group Insane Clown Posse, attacked and robbed visitors to Fort Steilacoom Park while shouting "Woo, woo, juggalo!" to each other, according to court documents.

Prosecutors in Pierce County south of Seattle charged three people with assault and robbery last week, but police in the City of Lakewood said they are searching for another eight to 10 suspects who took part.

According to police reports, some members of the gang wore black hooded sweatshirts or clown make-up and told victims they would "cut their heads off" with machetes. They stole cash, wallets and cell phones, the reports said.

"We don't see too many attacks like this," said Lakewood police Lt. Dave Guttu.

Juggalos often dress in black and wear clown face paint.

Monday, July 17, 2006 ~ I Hate Heat

Warning: This post will include whining - much whining.

I hate heat. In every way, I hate heat. I refuse to complain about the winter - whether it's ice, snow, sleet or bitter cold, because I whine ALL summer long! I hate the heat. And as I get older, I hate it even more. My poor husband has to sit around the house during the hottest days of the summer wrapped in a blanket "because I have it so cold in there. Sometimes it's cold enough that my toes get a little chilly, but I would much rather wear slippers to warm up the tootsies than have the slightest hint of sweat dripping down my back.

Our air conditioner went out last Friday night during the beginning of this hideous heat wave. I turned into every type of flaming, angry woman you've ever seen. I was screaming mad. We had gone out to dinner with friends. Things were running fine before we left, but when we got back, though the house was comfortable, I could feel that things weren't right. I walked to the living room and stood in front of the vent. Nothing was emanating from it and I slumped over, a poor, lost, pathetic whiny woman. We played with the thermostat for a few minutes just checking and HOPING. No, nothing, zip, zilch, nada. The air conditioning unit outside was kicking on just fine but there was no blower sending that beautiful cool air to me.

I called the landlord. I could hear it in her voice. (This is going to cost double time with some stupid tech, I don't know if he can even get there this evening, and what is wrong with the air conditioner). At this point, I knew I wasn't sleeping in my house. There was no way I was living with any type of heat. The cats could head for the basement, but I was heading for a hotel. She promised someone would be there the next morning and off I went. We packed up some clothes and headed out. Got to the Doubletree, I reached in to pull out my wallet. Nothing, zip, zilch, nada. What???? Oh Max had picked up my purse to head out the door and it had fallen on the table and he missed it. "Max, we have to go back home." He just shook his head and off we went. On the way home, we even had a conversation about whether or not it would be easier to just gas up the car and sleep in it while it was running in our back yard. But, I found the wallet and we went back to the hotel. We checked in and I looked forward to an evening of cool air, television, internet and a little relaxing after a long week.

That wasn't to be but, that's another story not related to heat. And get your minds out of the gutter it wasn't that either.

The next morning we went home. The house wasn't unbearable and the technician showed up by 11:30, we were up and running by 1:00. Whew! Now, let's cool this house down! Oh, and by the way, Max. We're not going anywhere tonight. I'm not going out in this oppressive heat and you can't make me.

We stayed home until church the next morning, lunch at Perkins and then back home for some relaxation until Vacation Bible School. I lead the music at that insane little joy. It's a full-blown aerobic exercise from 6:00 6:30 and again from 8:00 8:30. I'm sure that the church is fully air conditioned, but when you have 250 small warm bodies running around, along with half that many adults and teenagers, the place warms up pretty quickly. Especially when it is combined with dancing, jumping, and show choir type moves! By the time I was done leading them all in singing and dancing last night, I had sweat dripping down my back, my hair was wringing and I simply wanted to crawl into a shower. Will someone please tell me why VBS has to be in the middle of July and not in early June? But, I was back doing it again tonight and will be doing it until Thursday.

So (the martyr complex is about to come through), I suffer. I know that there are at least two strong months of summer left in Nebraska. But, when it is over, fall will come and then my favorite season of all - winter.

I always liked Rhoda Morgenstern's response as to why she moved from New York City to Minneapolis. She told people that "she kept better in the cold". I like that. That's why I like cold weather. I keep better.

Saturday, July 22, 2006 ~ The weekend is good
Some weeks I just have to move through - and this last week was one of those. Every day from 7:30 am - 10:00 pm (or later) I was on the move and today I have been able to fully wind down. I got a full night's sleep last night and have taken a two hour nap today. Yea!!! I'm almost back to 'normal'.

Working with kiddos each night this week was a blast, watching them play and have fun, singing and dancing, playing with each other and with the other adults that were in leadership was just plain fulfilling. The jr. high and high school kids that acted as their crew leaders were terrific - it's so fun to watch them enveloped by children that want nothing more than to love and be loved. So, I'd have to say that even though I was exhausted, the week at Vacation Bible School was a success.

I didn't get to spend much time with Max and that always drags me down. But, we went out to dinner with friends and I got to hold his hand a lot and at least be close to him. He's just the coolest guy ever!

I called him at work on Thursday and asked him this question: "What do Buffalo Springfield, Poco and Calvary Chapel in Colorado have in common?" The cool thing? I have full confidence that my man can answer that question. He came back with "Well, Richie Furay and Jim Messina were both in the first two groups and I have no idea what Calvary Chapel is." And he's right. Richie Furay is the senior pastor at Calvary Chapel. He gave me the answer I was looking for. I can always count on him knowing odd information about rock and roll from the 60s and 70s.

I haven't had much going on in my mind this week. At least nothing that I considered profound or interesting outside of my own mind. We'll see how that goes today and later this week. At least the excessive heat has passed from the Omaha area. Now, I just pray for the people in St. Louis and NYC who are dealing with the heat and no power. That seems unimaginably awful.

Monday, July 24, 2006 ~ Yawn - random processing
It's still early and this night person is ready to sleep. I hate that! I have so many things that I want to read tonight and music I want to listen to, but my pillow is calling my name and soon I will be responding. Unless, of course, I sneak out to the kitchen and snare that Hershey bar that is hiding in my refrigerator. I saw it this morning as I was covering the taste of my cat's medicine with a splash of milk. I quietly logged that information away for a later time. Chocolate! And I had forgotten about it. Now, that's pure joy.

I tried to be patient this weekend while myspace was offline. That was much easier to handle than the weekend that we lost power and internet access in Omaha due to heat and power outages ... or the weekend we lost power and internet access in Omaha due to freezing and transformers exploding across the city. My poor husband! I had no media access. No internet, no television, no email ... nothing. And I was pretty much a wreck.

(sidebar - Hershey's with almonds ... ahhhh)

Max says that I play 'email' like he plays video games - with all of the passion I can muster. But, I love my friends. I love spending time interacting with them. I love writing emails to them. I avoid AIM and MSN Messenger, because I will spend innumerable hours chatting it up with people.

Yesterday morning, my pastor sat down beside me on the front pew as we were waiting for service to start. "Diane, do you think you'll be spending time on the internet this week?"

I giggled. "Are you asking if I will be breathing this week? Same thing!"

And he asked me to do some research for a sermon he was preparing. The man knows me too well. By last night I had at least 35 links in his email box. I haven't heard from him yet. He'll laugh ... I'm sure.

(sidebar - the chocolate is all gone - and suddenly, I'm awake again! Whee!)

Yesterday he preached on "The Low Road to Shame". How so many of us walk there, when we don't have to! That really struck me. Moses walked on that low road after killing the Egyptian. David walked there after sleeping with Bathsheba and then having her husband killed. In the Old Testament, God offered salvation and forgiveness to His children. In the New Testament, with the death and resurrection of Christ, we all can find the path off that road. For that I'm eternally grateful.

I've spent much of the last few days traipsing around the internet reading various bits of information regarding the current situation in Lebanon / Israel. You just can't read CNN and get the whole picture. I've spent time at Haaretz, Daily Star (Lebanon), Al Jazeera, BBC, Reuters. My goodness! This is why we have wars. People can't have disagreements politely and cleanly. I understand it. This world has never been without war. We are too different. How can this be solved? I have no idea. Honestly, I don't think that it's mine to solve. The problem is greater than my mind can comprehend. And it's greater than any human mind can grasp. There's too much. No matter how we view the conflict, there is an opposing side that has as much right to their opinion as we do. I can only pray that cool heads will prevail, that loss of life will end and that God's will is done.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 ~ Lou Dobbs, Rwanda and You Go, Grandpa!
I'm a total news freak. I read too much of it. In fact, yesterday I was almost depressed by what I was reading and absorbing through regular news outlets, blogs and anything else I could read. I couldn't figure out why I was moping around until I started concentrating on the things rattling around in my mind. Ah ha!!! News stories and their impact on the world.

Last spring, I put a moratorium on all news coming into the house. I quit watching television news completely and limited myself to headlines. I eliminated most entertainment news and tried to concentrate on the local things that were happening. I almost made it for 6 months. But, leaping onto myspace has wrecked that entire plan. Ok ... not completely ... I still refuse to watch television news and I still eliminate most entertainment news.

As I was scanning CNN.com, I came across Lou Dobbs' editorial. I won't post it here, I still am a little concerned about how copyright issues will affect myspace and blogging when the industry decides to come down on this, but will give you the link. He speaks of the hundreds of 'signing statements' that President Bush has issued and the fact that the American Bar Association has found that he is blatantly disregarding our laws. (umm ... duh?) Will this change how our president operates? Doubtful. If he hasn't cared until this point about his actions as leader of this country, he won't start now. Unless ... there is litigation.

There are two things that I will quote from his editorial - these impacted me today. " The matter will likely be resolved in court. But it stands as a metaphor for a 21st century America that is no longer secure in the claim to be a nation of laws. The federal government is failing to enforce our laws on a wide range of issues..."

and "As Abraham Lincoln said, if bad laws exist they should "be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed." President Lincoln devoutly believed that rule of law assured that ours would continue to be a government of the people, by the people and for the people. And that should be the first demand of every American today."

If this country wants to stand as a beacon throughout this century to the worldwide community, we have a lot of work to do to regain respect throughout the world. Knowing that we have a President that blatantly disregards our laws and our constitution certainly doesn't encourage me in the fact that we can ever become the powerhouse that we believe we are.

The next article was one of hope. Elizabeth Yuan, a writer for CNN, went to Rwanda in May and posted this story. She heard children laughing in a country where there has been nothing but agony and tragedy. This is a country where you see mass graves along with churches and schools.

Sometimes hope for a better tomorrow is the only thing that gets me through the day. And hope for a future free of persecution and awfulness is what causes people to pursue through the worst of everything. Hope is what took our country through the tragedies of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. And hope has returned to the children of Rwanda. In the midst of our frustration and fury with our government and it's handling of so many things, we have to recognize that we have been given hope. It's a basic part of our nature. And I can only pray that we don't have it beaten out of us. If that happens, it will fall to younger generations to return hope to our country, just as the children of Rwanda are doing.

The last article just made me smile. In Greensboro, NC, an 84 year old man beat off a mugger ... outside his house ... with his cane. You go, Grandpa!!! The best part is that Grandpa's daughter was across the street in her house - and she's spoutin' all sorts of trash now. She wants a piece of the kid that did that to her dad. Heck! Her dad doesn't need to her to take a piece of the kid, he did it all by himself.

Oh, and before anyone jumps down my throat about copyright, you have to know that I own a printshop - and copyright laws tend to beat people over the head before they ask questions ... so, I'm of the mind to play it safe.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 ~ Real Science Fiction movies are back!
I found this article from the Shreveport Times - and it gives me HOPE!!! Ok, I'm a classic Sci-Fi addict. I love the stuff. I hate the 'stupid teen horror' flicks. I can do without Freddie & Jason and Hellraiser. I don't need to watch another Candyman. But, sci-fi? The good stuff? The stuff that makes us think outside our box? Oh my goodness ... that just makes me happy! And if it really is coming back - I'm going to have to get a season ticket to the theater. Oh, they don't offer those? Well, why not? I'm ready! And, ok Maggie - I'm trusting YOU on this - I'll post the entire article here. But, here's the linkto the article online.

I remember the original "Logan's Run". That movie scared me badly when I was young. And Soylent Green. I loved Malcolm McDowell's "The Time Machine". The Planet of the Apes franchise freaked me out. It's good that these things are coming back to my world. I can't wait!


Sci-fi on a mission to reclaim Hollywood from teen horror
July 24, 2006
By Scott Bowles
Gannett News Services

SAN DIEGO -- The future, at least for movies, has become clear at Comic-Con.

And the outlook is pretty dark.
That's because teen horror is on the way out and science fiction is on a mission to reclaim Hollywood, according to filmmakers and studio executives, many of whom descended on the nation's largest comic book convention to allow a peek at the not-too-distant future in theaters.

This isn't science-fiction-cum-fantasy, like "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings." This is the stuff of H.G. Wells and Ray Bradbury: a glimpse at what's to come if we don't tend to the planet, keep an eye on technology and treat beings from other worlds with a little respect.

"Science fiction needs to come from what we're experiencing in the present days," says John Davis, producer of 2004's "I, Robot." "And we're living in some pretty scary times. That's going to make for pretty compelling stories."

Among the fare:

"Children of Men"
Clive Owen stars in this film set in 2027, when humans can no longer procreate and are desperately searching for a way to avoid extinction. Sept. 29.

"The Fountain"
The Darren Aronofsky-directed drama spans 1,000 years and stars Hugh Jackman as a man struggling to find immortality for himself and his wife, played by Oscar winner Rachel Weisz. Oct. 13.

"Mimzy"
Two siblings discover a box of toys sent from the future and begin developing remarkable talents both terrifying and wonderful. April 4.

"Planet Terror"
Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin and "Lost'"s Naveen Andrews star in director Robert Rodriguez's retro-futuristic look at what happens when a flesh-eating virus becomes an epidemic. It's part of Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's new "Grindhouse" double-feature (the second is Tarantino's "Death Proof," about a man who kills with his car). Both are due April 6.

"Logan's Run"
This remake of the 1976 movie, co-written by Bryan Singer, revisits theaters with the story of humans who are killed on their 21st birthdays to reduce overpopulation. 2007.

"Star Trek XI"
Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams tackles the franchise with an eye toward returning it to its roots, when the William Shatner TV show was Earth-centric and a parable for our own political times. 2008.

On TV, the Sci Fi Channel continues to add original programming, and this fall, CBS will air "Jericho," which forgoes fantasy for a more realistic scenario as a small Kansas town reacts to nuclear attacks on two major cities.

The film industry appears to be rediscovering the subject matter, thanks in part to the dwindling returns on horror movies, executives say.

This year's horror films, including "The Hills Have Eyes," "When a Stranger Calls" and "Silent Hill," have underperformed, taking in less than $50 million apiece.

"The market is oversaturated with horror," says Russell Schwartz, president of domestic marketing for New Line Cinema, which is releasing "Mimzy." "These are cyclical things, but science fiction is pretty tried and true. They tend to come from solid books, which gives it a pedigree you can depend on."

Unlike Westerns and war epics, science fiction isn't bound by the constraints of history.

"There's no limit to material when you're thinking about science fiction, because you're writing about what might happen, not what's already happened," says Marc Abraham, producer of "Children of Men." "Predicting the future is one of our most dependable sources of storytelling."

And socially, Schwartz says, the timing was right for a resurgence.

"Historically, science fiction springs from tension," he says. "The big boon we had in the '40s and '50s came from war and Cold War tensions. When times are tense, it causes us to look forward and imagine what it's all going to mean."

©The Times
July 24, 2006

Saturday, July 29, 2006 ~ Miss my mom
This evening we celebrated the 60th birthday of a friend of mine - her daughter is one of my best friends and Elaine is a wonderful, loving woman. Her son created a beautiful video scrapbook of her life and as I watched it - and watched the years pass through the photos of her and her family, I started watching the years pass in my mind of my life. From the bouffant hairdos and elegant dresses, the wild looking clothes of the 60s, to the layered hair, tube tops, short cutoff shorts of the 70s, the big hair, jeans and children of the 80s until now, we watched her life change. Lots of love, lots of family, lots of joy over the years. And we watched as she cared for all of these people, including her aging mother, then her siblings and her children.

Those images took me to tears as I remembered my mom. All of the images tracked through my mind as I saw the clothing styles and hair styles that were part of my growing up years. I wish she were here to share my life and give me advice. I wish she could know my husband and hear me sing. I wish she could know my nephews and nieces and share her wisdom about so many things. But, she isn't - and she hasn't been here for nearly 20 years.

But, she is gone and I do miss her. Sometimes more than others and I guess that today is one of those times.

I'm nearly 47 years old and I'm sure that I've lived over half of my life. These years have passed so quickly. It won't be long and I'll be gone. My time on earth will be over. And I'll be seeing her again. Before she died, she assured me that it would seem like a long time before we were together again, but for her it would be like a blink of the eye. Ok, I was a little jealous at that statement. There is so much that will happen between now and that time. But, it is what I look forward to. Whether or not I spend much time with her, I will be in heaven with my Creator, standing before the throne of God singing praises. And this earth will pass away.

So for now, I leave you with one of her poems...

Insignificance

Seeping, oozing, dripping, flowing
Eternally from primeval springs
Deep within the belly of the earth,
The unchecked, maddened flood
Carries death, destruction, chaos
On its heaving bosom.

What is man?
His efforts to contain
the elements of nature
Come to naught.

The lapping, plopping wavelets
Of peaceful ponds nestled comfortably
In the ample lap of mother mountain
Bring peace, the womblike silence,
always still, quiet, very near
To pure Creation.

April 16, 1969
Margie Greenwood

Sunday, July 30, 2006 ~ Giving us a bad name
Last night as I was at the birthday party, a friend was discussing music with us (which is what we crazy musicians do when we're all together) and the subject of a lousy musician came up. His comment was "people like that give musicians a bad name." I laughed and agreed, then realized that I had been hearing that same comment over and over again from different realms of society.

I was reading a blog today about how a man in a PromiseKeepers t-shirt tried to return a sun / Dr. Pepper damaged dictionary and was furious when that couldn't happen. A Man of Integrity? And how a woman with a big cross around her neck reamed a customer service person publicly (as he had walked out to deal with her - praying all the way). We just read about the Muslim in Seattle who shot up a Jewish center. And Mel Gibson hurling anti-Semitic epithets when arrested for a DUI. Because I'm a Christian, I tend to focus on the many, many so-called Christians that give us a bad name and have for centuries. From the time of the Crusades to Fred Phelps whose 'family church' protests military funerals and carries signs that proclaim how much they hate gays.

The list of 'Christians' that get caught in some huge sin or act inappropriately is immense and embarrassing to the rest of us. But, those that self-proclaim themselves as Christians and act like complete jerks make it so much more difficult for the rest of us to live in the world. I hate watching people who wear crosses and carry Bibles short-tip a waitress because they're tight with their money. Does flipping off another driver in traffic because they've cut us off, or simply moved into the lane we wanted (even when we didn't signal) sound like a good idea when we have the symbol of the fish on the back of our car?

My point? If we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ in the world, are we acting like it? Can we really expect people to want to be a Christian based on our behavior?

At the same time, though, if we allow the actions of a few bad Christians to stop us from taking Christianity seriously, or blame all Muslims for one man's actions in Seattle we lose our perspective on reality. That truly is as insane as believing that musicians will be viewed badly because one musician is so lame.

Just some strange Sunday thoughts from my brain.

Monday, July 31, 2006 ~ Wussy music
AOL ran an article today that listed 111 wussy songs, with fabulous commentary. I'm not going to post it here because it is way too long, but click on the link and enjoy!

111 Wussiest Songs of All Time

I emailed that article to a friend of mine who is an amazing jazz organist and tends to be a little arrogant about good vs. bad music. I love him for that. He emailed me back that he had a couple of things on his iPod that he wouldn't want the world to know about. So, here I am telling all of you! I let him know that my guilty pleasures tended towards Carly Simon and Bread. They are both on my iPod. His was Journey and Heart.

Now, before you lambast me because you all love some band or other, this is only meant as a laugh and a giggle. We have this much music because it appeals across the spectrum to everyone!

Hey! Paul McCartney is on the wussy list twice! Once for "Silly Love Song" and another time for "When I'm 64." Those are two of my favorites. In fact, many of the songs on that list bring back very happy memories from my high school years. I spent a lot of time enjoying boys back then (get your mind out of the gutter again!!!). We had sock-hops nearly every Friday night and I loved dancing at those things. Dates always revolved around music - in the car, at my house while we were holding hands in the dark (yup, really, that's all we did - no, I'm not kidding), at friends' houses while we ate pizza. The 70s were an amazing time in the history of music.

I love myspace for the bands that I can discover. I have a bunch of high school kids in my friends list, and when I click through their pages I discover great new bands! DragonForce was one I discovered Friday night. Extreme Power Metal. But, oh my, it is so melodic and the guitars just drive through it. Wow!!! I played that while Max and I were chatting. I love it! Another kid introduced me to Tally Hall. Their music is just plain fun. It's clever and well done, filled with entertaining melodies, full harmonies and great lyrics.

And that's another reason I love my husband, he's always ready to hear and appreciate new music. So, we explore it and listen and talk about it. We associate it with styles that we are familiar with and just have fun.

Saturday morning, I was up earlier than Max and sitting at the computer playing on myspace. He came downstairs, sat on the sofa and said, "My friend (name withheld) is old. He likes old stuff. I'm not old. I like some old stuff, but not that much!"

"Max, what are you talking about?"

"Last night as we were going to dinner (his friend's wife and I had gone out to dinner with girlfriends), I had to listen to Celine Dion's song from "Titanic". Diane, that music makes me nervous!"

I just laughed. This is the man who took me to a Green Day concert last year. It was the best show I've ever seen. He's going to see Tool in KC in September because he wants to see Danny Carey play the drums. We have a 300 gig drive as a music server filled with everything from rock and roll origins to his extensive Beatles collection, typical music from every decade along with my contemporary Christian and gospel stuff. We have top notch classical stuff, because he's an elitist about which conductors and orchestras play certain composers well. He knows his music! And Celine Dion makes him nervous. What a hoot!!!

So, what are your guilty pleasures with music? What is on your iPod that your friends would laugh at (or in your CD player or in your well-played stack of CDs)?

Friday, August 04, 2006 ~ Old Boyfriends
I don't know why I insist on traveling down memory lane, but I manage to do it regularly. Don't get me wrong, I have a fabulous present day life, however, I also had a terrific time growing up and those memories tend to make me smile.

I was just traipsing around on classmates.com. There are actually quite a few of my old classmates on there. Though the information is limited, it makes my memories trigger and I have fun with those.

My first boyfriend as an adolescent (not the childhood 'oh, isn't she cute boyfriends) happened in Sigourney. Just to put this in perspective, the year was 1972. I had just moved to a new town and didn't know anyone. I was a band geek and I had found a new sense of independence. No one knew that I was a pastor's daughter. There were more people in my grade than had been in the entire school where I previously lived. I took on a new persona - foul mouth. I was using language that I didn't even recognize - and it was so freeing! (now I'm having trouble eliminating that language from my vocabulary).

Every Friday night during football season we had a sock-hop. Then, we took any chance we could to have another dance. They happened a lot! The jr. high building was quite old, the gym was interesting. Concrete risers with bleacher seats on them went up one side of the gym. The gym floor was used for everything. The wrestling mats were rolled up and placed on the upper levels of the risers. The lights were turned down low for dances and the music began playing. Kids rushed for the upper risers - hiding behind the mats - kissing ... whatever. Every once in a while Mrs. Edmundson would switch the lights on and after our eyes adjusted to the light, we would try to see who was hiding behind the wrestling mats. Me? I just wanted to dance with the boys. There were always a large number of them lined up against the wall over by the record player and speakers, trying hard not to look desperate, but desperately not wanting to be responsible for approaching us to dance.

If you know me - you know that I don't put up with that kind of stuff for long. So, off I went, with a cadre of girlfriends - to break up the boys. I'd grab one that I knew pretty well (from band, of course) and we'd dance. He soon got over his fear that everyone would think we were going steady and we had a great time ... until the slow dance came on. Then, it was back to the wall with him.

Then, I finally got a boyfriend. His younger sister had to approach me to ask me if I was interested in going out with him. WAIT!!! I think I actually have this in a diary. I'll be back ... ok - this is great!

January 7 (1972). "We had a Sadie Hawkins dance and I invited Jeff. He danced with me almost all night. I only danced with 5 other boys. Buddy was one of them."

February 9. "MMMM!!! Me and Jeff really hit it off, so did Alice & Dirk, Debbie & Kevin, etc. We were dancing very close, you couldn't have gotten a toothpick between us. I can't wait until Monday, and the next dance."

February 16. "Jill told me about Jeff writing in his diary a lot about me at th erecital before contest. She told me he really liked me and it was in his diary. She found it in his sleeping bag. She then began calling me 'sis'. I like Jeff a lot so I was glad to hear that. This is the only one I'll like that much for a long time."

Finally, May 19 "We had a dance at the school. As my favorite song is 'We've Only Just Begun', I wanted to dance with Jeff when they played it. I only danced with him once when they played it. At the 2nd to last dance, Jeff asked me if I wanted to go with him. Well, I guess I am now. I sure hope he doesn't mind, because I don't want to break up with him."

I'm almost embarrassed to let you in on my 12 year old self. But, it really was all quite innocent. My next boyfriend was Brian - and our big exciting evenings revolved around holding hands while we listened to his Cheech and Chong records. That's all we did. My memory tells me that we went together for 9 months and never moved past hand-holding. We got back together in high school - and the extent of that long-term relationship was some intense kissing in the back of his father's station wagon on the return trip from Des Moines after going to a Christian seminar! Oh ... the innocence of those days.

As I read my diary I see that I was a bit boy crazy. I simply listed all of the boys that I really liked. Fortunately, we were all pretty good friends. We all played in band together, sang in choir together, worked together and enjoyed growing up in small town Iowa. Some of them still live in Sigourney, others moved away and then went back, and many ... like me ... moved away and rarely return.

Why is this a blog? Because my memories are at the forefront of my mind this evening. Sometimes I miss that young girl, full of wide-eyed innocence, expectation, the belief that I could do anything and everything, confidence that I was safe in my family and my community. Even my early relationships reflected that girl. Age and cynicism can remove so much of that. I hope not all of it is gone.

Saturday, August 05, 2006 ~ Evangelical Christians in Mainstream Society?
Well, it is finally happening. And I can breathe a sigh of relief, though we are only at the beginning. People are starting to talk out loud about the fact that the extreme political, conservative, religious right do not speak for all of the evangelicals in the country. I have seen two articles in the last week that have given me more than a little hope.

The first is about a pastor of a large church in St. Paul, Minneapolis who spoke out against politics in the church. The second is simply book reviews (on my 'purchase list' now at amazon.com) by two authors who have investigated the role of evangelicals in America.

I'm tired of having my faith defined by people like Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Pat Robertson, and Ralph Reed. These people are very vocal, and are the ones that the media interview when they want an opinion from 'Christians'. But, these men do NOT represent my views.

This is a real hot button for me - I've mentioned it before in my blogs - and I'm certain that I'll mention it again. I can't stand the thought that for me to be a Christian, I have to be a Republican. This is not the world I lived in through the 60s and 70s. Those were the days that all you had to do was 'be' a Christian. You didn't have to take sides on all of the issues or vote for a politician because they stood on one side or the other of abortion, capital punishment, war, etc. You could hear an entire platform and make a decision. So ... on to the articles. They made me happy.

The first article is long ... so, I'll post the second in a new blog window.
Disowning Conservative Politics Is Costly for Pastor (Link)
By LAURIE GOODSTEIN, The New York Times
MAPLEWOOD, Minn. (July 30) -- Like most pastors who lead thriving evangelical megachurches, the Rev. Gregory A. Boyd was asked frequently to give his blessing -- and the church's -- to conservative political candidates and causes.

The requests came from church members and visitors alike: Would he please announce a rally against gay marriage during services? Would he introduce a politician from the pulpit? Could members set up a table in the lobby promoting their anti-abortion work? Would the church distribute voters guides that all but endorsed Republican candidates? And with the country at war, please couldnt the church hang an American flag in the sanctuary?

After refusing each time, Mr. Boyd finally became fed up, he said. Before the last presidential election, he preached six sermons called The Cross and the Sword in which he said the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a Christian nation and stop glorifying American military campaigns.

When the church wins the culture wars, it inevitably loses, Mr. Boyd preached. When it conquers the world, it becomes the world. When you put your trust in the sword, you lose the cross.

Mr. Boyd says he is no liberal. He is opposed to abortion and thinks homosexuality is not Gods ideal. The response from his congregation at Woodland Hills Church here in suburban St. Paul -- packed mostly with politically and theologically conservative, middle-class evangelicals -- was passionate. Some members walked out of a sermon and never returned. By the time the dust had settled, Woodland Hills, which Mr. Boyd founded in 1992, had lost about 1,000 of its 5,000 members.

But there were also congregants who thanked Mr. Boyd, telling him they were moved to tears to hear him voice concerns they had been too afraid to share.

Most of my friends are believers, said Shannon Staiger, a psychotherapist and church member, and they think if youre a believer, youll vote for Bush. And its scary to go against that.

Sermons like Mr. Boyds are hardly typical in todays evangelical churches. But the upheaval at Woodland Hills is an example of the internal debates now going on in some evangelical colleges, magazines and churches. A common concern is that the Christian message is being compromised by the tendency to tie evangelical Christianity to the Republican Party and American nationalism, especially through the war in Iraq.

At least six books on this theme have been published recently, some by Christian publishing houses. Randall Balmer, a religion professor at Barnard College and an evangelical, has written Thy Kingdom Come: How the Religious Right Distorts the Faith and Threatens America -- an Evangelicals Lament.

And Mr. Boyd has a new book out, The Myth of a Christian Nation: How the Quest for Political Power Is Destroying the Church, which is based on his sermons.

There is a lot of discontent brewing, said Brian D. McLaren, the founding pastor at Cedar Ridge Community Church in Gaithersburg, Md., and a leader in the evangelical movement known as the emerging church, which is at the forefront of challenging the more politicized evangelical establishment.

More and more people are saying this has gone too far -- the dominance of the evangelical identity by the religious right, Mr. McLaren said. You cannot say the word Jesus in 2006 without having an awful lot of baggage going along with it. You cant say the word Christian, and you certainly cant say the word evangelical without it now raising connotations and a certain cringe factor in people.

Because people think, Oh no, what is going to come next is homosexual bashing, or pro-war rhetoric, or complaining about activist judges.

Mr. Boyd said he had cleared his sermons with the churchs board, but his words left some in his congregation stunned. Some said that he was disrespecting President Bush and the military, that he was soft on abortion or telling them not to vote.

When we joined years ago, Greg was a conservative speaker, said William Berggren, a lawyer who joined the church with his wife six years ago. But we totally disagreed with him on this. You cant be a Christian and ignore actions that you feel are wrong. A case in point is the abortion issue. If the church were awake when abortion was passed in the 70s, it wouldnt have happened. But the church was asleep.

Mr. Boyd, 49, who preaches in blue jeans and rumpled plaid shirts, leads a church that occupies a squat block-long building that was once a home improvement chain store.

The church grew from 40 members in 12 years, based in no small part on Mr. Boyds draw as an electrifying preacher who stuck closely to Scripture. He has degrees from Yale Divinity School and Princeton Theological Seminary, and he taught theology at Bethel College in St. Paul, where he created a controversy a few years ago by questioning whether God fully knew the future. Some pastors in his own denomination, the Baptist General Conference, mounted an effort to evict Mr. Boyd from the denomination and his teaching post, but he won that battle.

He is known among evangelicals for a bestselling book, Letters From a Skeptic, based on correspondence with his father, a leftist union organizer and a lifelong agnostic -- an exchange that eventually persuaded his father to embrace Christianity.

Mr. Boyd said he never intended his sermons to be taken as merely a critique of the Republican Party or the religious right. He refuses to share his party affiliation, or whether he has one, for that reason. He said there were Christians on both the left and the right who had turned politics and patriotism into idolatry.

He said he first became alarmed while visiting another megachurchs worship service on a Fourth of July years ago. The service finished with the chorus singing God Bless America and a video of fighter jets flying over a hill silhouetted with crosses.

I thought to myself, What just happened? Fighter jets mixed up with the cross? he said in an interview.

Patriotic displays are still a mainstay in some evangelical churches. Across town from Mr. Boyds church, the sanctuary of North Heights Lutheran Church was draped in bunting on the Sunday before the Fourth of July this year for a freedom celebration. Military veterans and flag twirlers paraded into the sanctuary, an enormous American flag rose slowly behind the stage, and a Marine major who had served in Afghanistan preached that the military was spending your hard-earned money on good causes.

In his six sermons, Mr. Boyd laid out a broad argument that the role of Christians was not to seek power over others -- by controlling governments, passing legislation or fighting wars.
Christians should instead seek to have power under others winning peoples hearts by sacrificing for those in need, as Jesus did, Mr. Boyd said.

America wasnt founded as a theocracy, he said. America was founded by people trying to escape theocracies. Never in history have we had a Christian theocracy where it wasnt bloody and barbaric. Thats why our Constitution wisely put in a separation of church and state.

I am sorry to tell you, he continued, that America is not the light of the world and the hope of the world. The light of the world and the hope of the world is Jesus Christ.

Mr. Boyd lambasted the hypocrisy and pettiness of Christians who focus on sexual issues like homosexuality, abortion or Janet Jacksons breast-revealing performance at the Super Bowl halftime show. He said Christians these days were constantly outraged about sex and perceived violations of their rights to display their faith in public.

Those are the two buttons to push if you want to get Christians to act, he said. And those are the two buttons Jesus never pushed.

Some Woodland Hills members said they applauded the sermons because they had resolved their conflicted feelings. David Churchill, a truck driver for U.P.S. and a Teamster for 26 years, said he had been raised in a religious-right home but was torn between the Republican expectations of faith and family and the Democratic expectations of his union.

When Mr. Boyd preached his sermons, it was liberating to me, Mr. Churchill said.

Mr. Boyd gave his sermons while his church was in the midst of a $7 million fund-raising campaign. But only $4 million came in, and 7 of the more than 50 staff members were laid off, he said.

Mary Van Sickle, the family pastor at Woodland Hills, said she lost 20 volunteers who had been the backbone of the churchs Sunday school.

They said, Youre not doing what the church is supposed to be doing, which is supporting the Republican way, she said. It was some of my best volunteers.

The Rev. Paul Eddy, a theology professor at Bethel College and the teaching pastor at Woodland Hills, said: Greg is an anomaly in the megachurch world. He didnt give a whit about church leadership, never read a book about church growth. His biggest fear is that people will think that all church is is a weekend carnival, with people liking the worship, the music, his speaking, and thats it.

In the end, those who left tended to be white, middle-class suburbanites, church staff members said. In their place, the church has added more members who live in the surrounding community African-Americans, Hispanics and Hmong immigrants from Laos.

This suits Mr. Boyd. His vision for his church is an ethnically and economically diverse congregation that exemplifies Jesus teachings by its members actions. He, his wife and three other families from the church moved from the suburbs three years ago to a predominantly black neighborhood in St. Paul.

Mr. Boyd now says of the upheaval: I dont regret any aspect of it at all. It was a defining moment for us. We let go of something we were never called to be. We just didnt know the price we were going to pay for doing it.

His congregation of about 4,000 is still digesting his message. Mr. Boyd arranged a forum on a recent Wednesday night to allow members to sound off on his new book. The reception was warm, but many of the 56 questions submitted in writing were pointed: Isnt abortion an evil that Christians should prevent? Are you saying Christians should not join the military? How can Christians possibly have power under Osama bin Laden? Didnt the church play an enormously positive role in the civil rights movement?

One woman asked: So why NOT us? If we contain the wisdom and grace and love and creativity of Jesus, why shouldnt we be the ones involved in politics and setting laws?
Mr. Boyd responded: I dont think theres a particular angle we have on society that others lack. All good, decent people want good and order and justice. Just dont slap the label Christian on it.

Saturday, August 05, 2006 ~ Evangelical Christians in Mainstream Society, Pt. II
And onto the second article - from publishersweekly.com - it's more of a book review.

Two Books Reveal a Diversity that Might Surprise Many

by Marcia Ford, Religion BookLine -- 8/2/2006

Disturbed by the medias often one-dimensional portrayal of evangelicals, two journalists who each were at one time immersed in the evangelical subculture have written strikingly similar but independent books that both release in October. Monique El-Faizys God and Country: How Evangelicals Have Become Americas New Mainstream (Bloomsbury) and Jeffery L. Shelers Believers: A Journey into Evangelical America (Viking) each examine the diversity in one of the most prevalent but misunderstood religious groups in the U.S.

As evangelicals began to get more coverage, I noticed the things the mainstream media were missing, says El-Faizy, the product of a fundamentalist upbringing. If you don't speak the language, you dont know the customs and you miss the nuances. The evangelical community was misrepresentedit was being painted as monolithic and identified by its fringe rather than its core. I felt someone had to go in and illuminate it.

Both El-Faizy and Sheler, who also experienced fundamentalism as a child, say their research confirmed that evangelicalism has moved so far from its narrow, rigid, and separatist roots in fundamentalism that it has become Americas new mainstream faith. And while both authors found that the majority of evangelicals are likely to vote Republican, they are not all as conservative politically as the media often portray them to be. El-Faizy and Sheler each point out the significant percentage of evangelicals who closely identify with Democrats on issues like war, poverty, and social justice, and are the swing voters that frequently make all the difference come election time.

Sheler told RBL, The image that often comes through in the media is filled with stereotypes and caricatures. As a journalist covering religion and as an evangelical myself years ago, I felt they were projecting a very unfamiliar faceone of intolerance, arrogance, and narrow-mindedness. If those were representative of evangelicalism, then it had become something very foreign to my own experience. I felt it was time to explore this, to discover who they are, what they stand for, who speaks for them, and who does not.

Among those who do not speak for many of the countrys estimated 60 million evangelicals, Sheler discovered, are vocal and visible leaders like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and James Dobson. The outrageous things you see on TV are an aberration, though some people do hold those views, Sheler said. But the vast majority of evangelicals are normal, reasonable people. They are hardworking, love their families, and are not out to cram religion down your throat and turn the country into a theocracy.

While both books were written to help secular readers and mainline Christians understand evangelicalism, the authors also see evangelicals as a potential audience. One evangelical publisher, anticipating what he hoped would be an honest and objective assessment of the subculture, urged El-Faizy not to pull any punches in her portrayal of it. Most evangelicals will find a more full-blooded portrait of themselves here, one that is more accurate than they are accustomed to seeing, Sheler said of his book. Theyll read it and recommend it to their friends.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 ~ Racism - will it ever change
Hatred, fear, misunderstanding, jealousy ... just a few of the emotions that cause racism or any other type of 'ism' that you run into.

My quick printing shop is in a small plaza that seems to attract many older people. There used to be a drug store / diner here where they did a lot of their medication shopping. When it moved, they stayed. We're a small enough shop that they can come in for all of their copies without being assaulted by the Kinkos-type customer service people.

I just finished chatting with an older lady, probably in her 80s. Her brother is in town from Florida, took her car to go out to western Nebraska, promptly locked the keys in it and left it running - an hour from here. They've called AAA. I was describing to her my father's obsession with hide-a-keys in the undercarriage and how many times it has saved me from very bad things happening on the road. She told me how they used to hide a car key under the downspout at their house (that made no sense, but it must have to all of them).

Now, that's not the point of this blog. It's still coming ...

She removed the hide-a-key because her daughter adopted two children and one of them started running with ... you know ... black kids and she just couldn't trust that they wouldn't steal her car.

I must have looked a little surprised, because she elucidated on the 'black kids' that they were a tough crowd of people. I still could barely contain my shock. Then, she went on about this granddaughter - that she is in her 20s now and doing really well, she has gotten away from the bad crowd, but she had (with a pause for drama - she did it - not me!) a little black baby while she was in college.

I'm not one to take on my customers, especially frail little old ladies who will never comprehend what they've just said. My comment to her was that this great granddaughter of hers had to be absolutely gorgeous. "Oh yes, she is beautiful, she's about 11 years old now and really intelligent too, thank goodness!"

Will we move past this? My sister married a Nigerian man (born there, raised in Germany, educated in London). They get interesting looks when they are out together, though I don't know if that's the multicultural thing or his terrible to understand accent (can you simply imagine?). My friends are multi-colored and of differing races. I hang out with a lot of musicians and you can only imagine that no one pays much attention in that type of crowd. I guess that I don't pay enough attention to it on a personal level. I never grew up with any type of racist speech or slurs in my home. Mom and Dad would have never thought to promote that kind of stuff.

I did grow up in a very white, small upper middle class community in the center part of Iowa. We hired a black band instructor when I was in high school. Mom was on the school board at the time and she's pretty sure that others on the board thought they were looking at an underdeveloped photograph of him. However, I'm not sure how they explained the afro (remember ... it's the 70s). He was loved immediately by our community and by the kids in high school.

Dad had close friends that were black, and the Bishop of the Methodist church in Iowa was a black man. I went away to camp and my best friends were black, and hispanic, and Indian. It just NEVER occurred to me to think anything weird about this.

But, it was all over the news ... all of the time ... racial unrest ... busing issues in the larger cities ... gangs. Racism was everywhere ... out there!

Yesterday, two young men from Saudi Arabia came into the shop to send a fax home. White people are standing around in my shop and as I approached them, I saw trepidation on their faces. That upset me! Their language skills were minimal, I assume they are coming in new this semester. As nice and as polite and as helpful as I could be, I dealt with their needs ... smiling and hoping that they weren't encountering hideous racism around this city, but being fairly assured that they were.

We have Hispanics come in here from their home many miles away because they know we'll take the time to listen to them in their broken English explain what they need to have us do.

This just breaks my heart.

Now please, don't stroke me for being nice to people. Puhleeze! That's not what I'm talking about here.

We can't just seem to stop hating people that don't look like us, sound like us, smell like us, think like us ... we have to hate celebrities because they have more money or more power or more exposure.

This doesn't seem like a fun way to live a life. It's way too much time spent on worrying about someone else's stuff!

Friday, August 11, 2006 ~ I'm a Dog Person
Well, Praise the Lord, my life is about to change.

Last October, my dachshund, Bert died from congestive heart failure. What an awful time that period was for me, but I moved through it.

I have two cats - Howard (orange and white) and Ichabod (grey). I wasn't in a panic to replace Bert and my husband really didn't want a dog around the house either. We began to appreciate the freedom that came with only having cats in our lives. We could travel because they will always be able to cope for at least a day and a half with no interaction from me. The reasons were long and glorious as to why we needed no dog in our lives until I could stand it no longer.

I would punish myself by checking out the NE Humane Society website and the Petfinder websites. There were adorable dachshunds everywhere, begging to find an owner. But, Max kept saying 'no, not now'. And he was right enough that I didn't fight too hard about it. My friends have 3 bassett hounds and we spent a lot of time over there, loving on the dogs, but it's just not the same when you can't curl up with them for a nap or have them lick your face, always knowing that this dog is yours forever. So, I have lived 'dog-less' until now.

This morning, my sister's best friend emailed me with an urgent request for an home to be found for a dachshund, a 7 year old, house-trained, spayed female, purebred black and tan. I got the email and when Carol walked into my office I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing! I didn't know how I could talk Max into letting me have this dog. Carol asked if I was worried the dog would be put to sleep. No, that wasn't it. These shelters work really hard to place animals. No, I was sobbing because I miss having a dog so much!!! There is a huge hole in my life where Bert resided and by golly, I'm a dog person!

I've had dogs all of my life. The cats came into my life because #1, we desperately needed a mouser - they were overruning us, and #2 (Ichabod) because I have a heart too big to allow a cat to be put to sleep because it's inconvenient for someone. I love my cats, but they're so completely different from having a dog around.

Max isn't terribly happy with me right now, but I know he loves me enough to recognize my need for this dog. He asked me this morning if I would be 1000 percent happier if she were in my life. I didn't hesitate. "Yes!"

Her name is Rosie (which is Max's mother's name ... I'll soon be using that on him), she lived with a family for 7 years and became inconvenient for them. She is spayed and housetrained (I don't have time to housetrain a puppy right now) and I'm looking forward to this! Every time I think about her coming into my heart, I cry a little bit. I'm very excited!

There are going to be some restrictions placed on my life again and that's ok. I'm planning to bring her to work with me and that's wonderful (all of my dogs have become a part of this business). I'll let you know on Sunday how it all ends up.

Saturday, August 12, 2006 ~ Pictures At An Exhibition
Before I met Max, 12 years ago, I had never heard of Edward Weston. One of the first things Max asked me to do was to read his "Daybooks", the journals he kept as he lived the nomadic life of a photographer in the 1940s and 1950s.

The Daybooks of Edward Weston

Max reminded me today that my next question to him was whether or not that was the life he wanted to live. I was quite relieved when he simply wanted me to read about his idol, not learn a new lifestyle.

Today we went to the Joslyn Art Museum here in Omaha to see the exhibit:

Edward Weston: A Photographer's Love of Life
Through August 13
This exhibition provides visitors a better understanding and a greater appreciation for Edward Weston the man and the photographer. A virtual survey of Weston's career from his teens to his years in Mexico and Carmel to his Guggenheim fellowship in 1936 and to his final photographs from the late 1940s, the exhibition showcases the work that Weston, arguably the most influential photographer of the 20th century, considered his best. Featuring about 70 of his key photographs from the 1930s through World War II, the exhibition includes such iconic images as Shell, Dunes, Oceano, Pepper, Diego Rivera, and Pelican's Wing, among others. Also included are a selection of brilliant, vintage Kodachrome color transparencies on view to the public for the first time.

Weston's focus on the beauty in the world around him inspired future generations of photographers. His powerful work made people look at the world differently and helped them see the beauty in such simple things as a shell or a pepper. Personal letters and postcards from his family included in the show offer an intimate view of both this legendary man and his career. The exhibition includes rarely seen snapshots of Weston and his family, dating from the first two decades of the 20th century. According to exhibition curator Alexander Nyerges, these personal items "dispel the notions of Weston as a loner and more accurately portray him as an energetic lover of life."

Edward Weston: A Photographer's Love of Life was organized by The Dayton Art Institute Director and CEO Alexander Lee Nyerges. The exhibition in Omaha is sponsored in part by Omaha Steaks International? and the Omaha World-Herald.

*****

Now, while I find many of these photographs beauitful, others stunning and yet others very interesting, I found myself drawn more to the descriptions posted beside the images. And I moved through the exhibit rather quickly. As I write this in a notebook I keep in my purse, I've found a bench to sit on in the middle of the exhibit while I wait for Max.

I watch other patrons of the arts moving through the exhibit. They spend time reading the text, glance at the photographs and move on ... much like me. But not Max. He is peering at the images closely. He just came to get me so that he could show me the Amidol stain on the paper of one of the prints. Many of them are matted right to the image edge, but a few allow the outside of the print to be shown - and he sees the stain (Amidol is the developer that was used - Max actually came up with a formula that got rid of the stain on the paper).

Max isn't just a photographer, he's a master black and white printer. His darkroom work far outweighs his photography, but together they make a fabulous combination. He's a hidden treasure - no one really knows about him, which is just fine. If you do a google search on "Maxim Muir," you will find photographers talking about his developers for the darkroom. When I met him, he was actually designing compounds and mixtures for darkroom chemistry.

As he's looking at these photographs, I am certain that he wishes for the chance to get his hands on the original negatives and reprint them to bring out the textures and shadows, highlights and depths that are no longer present in the original prints. He makes no bones about the fact that Weston's sons (Cole & Brett) are better in the darkroom than Edward Weston ever was.

He returned to get me and took me back around the exhibit to show me which prints were done by Edward Weston and which were done by his sons - how he knows this I'll never comprehend, but it's information in his mind.

The other exhibit at the museum today was "Visions of Victory" a collection of sports photographs. I like going through these things with Max - he has such amazing knowledge in his mind.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 ~ Leica - the dog, not the camera
It's official. I'm the proud mama of a dachshund. Leica came home with us Sunday afternoon and seemed to know immediately that this was to be her home. She settled in on my couch, curled up in a blanket and went to sleep. It had been a long, wild day for her and an exciting one for me. I had no idea how much I missed having a dog in my life. I love my cats, but a dog is such a different companion. She is a companion! She is already a friend.

Leica (pronounced Like-uh) is named for a German camera. My husband is a black and white photographer and this was his idea. I liked it and I loved the idea that he wanted to be a part of this addition to our world. The Leica camera is one of the finest 35 mm ever made and has some of the best lenses available for it.

She has been going to work with me during the day and the customers really enjoy seeing a little piece of humanity in their world. I try to offer them a good place to be when they walk into the shop, but a dog adds just that much more. I had one customer stop in today to pick up a job. He made the effort to come in today rather than sending an employee because he wanted to see Leica. That's a good thing. She sleeps on a blanket in my office and follows me at my heels when I walk towards the front of the shop. She's already my shadow.

Because she is over 7 years old, she has a lot of history that I'm not aware of. For some reason, she puts up a paw at us. I don't know for sure what she wants me to do, but I am working to retain that movement with the word "shake". She dances on her back legs a lot. It's adorable! Sometimes she will sit when told, but right now she is so willing to please me, that I'm reinforcing that command with treats. I appreciate the fact that she is housetrained - I don't have time to deal with that in my world right now. I'm thankful that she is not a puppy - I don't have the energy to compete with a puppy's energy. Her coloring is gorgeous and her personality is quite easygoing. I'm a very happy person. I have a dog in my life again and I can feel my blood pressure dropping every time I hold her in my arms.

August 19, 2006
"Compassion is the basis of all morality." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Life has it's ups and downs - sometimes there is more excitement than I would like and other times I am able to completely relax. It's what life is all about! I have had a great week with my new dog - Leica (named for the German Camera). You can see a couple pictures on my website by clicking on "The Nammynools" on this page. She's a wonderful addition to our life here at home and she goes to work with me every day. The customers love her and we love having her around.

My writing is filling up other pages right now. One of these days I'll do some housekeeping and get all of those blogs posted here on my own website, but for now you can find me at two different locations. Stop in and say hello! You have to join myspace.com to be able to comment on my blogs there (myspace.com/isoldemalory), but you can comment freely at my blogspot space. (blogspot). Come on over and see what goes on in my little brain!

Saturday, September 09, 2006 ~ I went away
I went away ... just for awhile. Hopefully, I'm back. The stress in my life hit an incredible high throughout July and August.

We closed our business this week. After 22 years in business, the money ran out to the point where there would be no more to maintain a business at any level. So, we're done.

I'm not sure what is going to happen for me at this point. The employees are off looking for new jobs. Carol (my sister and co-owner) is substitute teaching. We both have music ed degrees and she is finishing up an elementary education degree, she'll student teach in the spring and take a contract next fall.

I have a lot of options. But, I have no idea where this is going to take me. I have a lot of things to do right now to finish up closing the business. That will take the bulk of the next month.

I haven't felt this much relief in years. I don't have to worry and stress over things anymore. I no longer am responsible for employees and all of their needs. I am just responsible for me and for Max (ok, 2 cats and a dog fit in here as well). This is such a new experience for me! I've been doing this since 1984. And I've been hating it since 1998. Don't ask why we didn't close earlier. It wasn't time and I couldn't have faced it then. I'm facing it now. This is the right time.

After nearly 1/2 of my life, I'm no longer identified with my business. (We owned a quick printing business). I actually had to go out and buy paper this week for the house. That was weird and felt a little wrong. The first two days after the closing, my brain was fuzzy and I didn't get a lot of sleep. But, that period seems to be over. The relief from stress is almost palpable. And the best part? All of a sudden I have hope for the future again. It looks bright and exciting. There are so many possibilities. I can take vacations and maybe even a sick day here and there. I can look for a job that I'm going to love and be excited to wake up in the morning for.

Here I am ... there I go ... I wonder where I'll be next year at this time!!!

Monday, November 20, 2006 ~ When Diane just admits to stupidity!
Some days it just doesn't pay to act like the brain has engaged. Today was one of those days.

This morning, I was up bright and early because I had to be at church before 8:00. Our two youth choirs were singing and I was responsible for accompanying both of them, one of which I would spend time rehearsing with, while my friend Jennie, the director, prepared the other for the service. I also was going to be part of the worship team for the late service, so it was going to be a busy morning. Off I went!

When I got in the car, I looked at the gas gauge (I had to allow time for the frost to melt off the windows - yea Fall!!!). It was nearly empty. There is a Kum 'n Go (a 7-11 in the midwest, hate the name!) only 1/2 block from my home, so I drove down and put gas in the car. I was still doing really well with time, yea!

I got back in the car and pushed the clutch in, turned the key. Nothing. Hmmm ... that's not right. I tried it again. Nothing. One more time because I can't accept defeat. Nothing. Yes, I know that the clutch has to be pressed all the way to the floor, I've been driving manual transmission cars since high school and that was a long, long time ago.

I went inside and asked the poor young man to help me push the car away from the gas pump. Pant, pant, pant, pant...that's done. I walked back to the house and knew that there was another car there. It is in need of a little work and doesn't like to be driven, but that will get fixed one of these days. I unlocked it, put the key in the ignition and... Nothing. Tried it again. Nothing. Oh my goodness!!!

Poor Carol (my sister) was awakened at 7:55. "Carol, I'm in trouble. Neither car will start". I woke her out of a dead sleep, but all she said was, "I'm putting my clothes on and I'll be right there." And she was ... within 10 minutes. I tried to call Jennie to tell her I would be late, but no answer. So, I called Cody, the tech / media guy. His response as he answered his phone was, "Diane, this had better be good news." "Ummm ... Cody? I want to speak with someone else." I explained what was going on. He said he would tell Jennie.

Carol was at my house in 11 minutes. And we were on the road. The morning passed with no more great crises. I appreciated a couple of friends praying for peace for me as I sat at the piano. They recognized the stress and knew that I had a lot of responsibilities yet to face.

Carol brought me home after church and I called AAA Towing. First to the house to jumpstart the Taurus and then to Kum 'n Go to tow the stupid Escort. Here's where the story takes a nasty turn for me and my level of intelligence.

I walked down to the car, opened it up, knowing that in my insane panic this morning, I had locked the keys in the car. What I didn't realize was that I had left them in the ignition - in the 'on' position. #1 on the stupid list for the day. The tow driver asked me to turn on the headlights so he could see if there was any charge. I did. Not much left. He asked me to try to start the car. I pressed in the clutch and looked down. Hmmm ... oh no! The stupid piece of carpet had gotten bunched up under the clutch. I had NOT been getting it all the way to the floor, but at this point, I didn't have a live battery to test my theory. I was going to have to admit to the tow driver how stupid I was. So, I did.

He was so nice. "Don't worry, ma'am, this kind of stuff happens all the time." He jumped that car, it started right up (of course it would) and I felt all of the my stress release as I knew that I didn't have to spend money I didn't have at the garage and that I wouldn't have to disrupt Carol's world tomorrow to get all of us where we needed to be.

However, I did have to deal with the fact that I had created an entire morning of insanity because of my pure stupidity. Sheesh ...

The good news is that all is back to normal. The morning at church went fine and I came to realize that life isn't always mine to control. When I completely give up control, it still works out.

For a woman who prides herself on her intelligence and a relatively high level of common sense, this morning was one of my lessons in humility! I'm almost giggling about it.